
Why is Madonna jumping on the celebrity foreign baby adoption bandwagon?
Meg Ryan adopted a baby girl from China. Ewan McGregor adopted a child from Mongolia. And, of course, there's the poster mother for foreign adoptions - Angelina Jolie - who has one child from Cambodia and one from Ethiopia.
Now Madonna is trying to adopt a baby boy from Africa.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that celebrities are calling attention to the plight of all these children in poverty-stricken countries. It raises the profile of the countries and of adoption in general.
But the situation sure invites criticism. Often, it can seem like the stars are going over and picking out a child they like much like they'd go and choose a handbag or some other stylish accessory they would buy in a store. And it seems that they get to avoid a lot of red tape and have an easier time with adoption than non-famous people.
In any event, I hope it works out for Madonna. But there are lots of great children here in the United States who need to be adopted and maybe we should start here.
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107 Comments
As children grow up through the system, they realize that they are not wanted because they are not babies, but now, they are going to feel like they are not wanted because they are American.
I wonder what kind of message we are sending to the children, who will one day grow up and possibly feel resentment.
I have always wanted to adopt a child, while my parents wholeheartly disagree.
I feel that there is a lot of children who are not going to get to be part of a family, why bring another child into this world?
One day, when I am so rich and so famous, I am going to start a trend: Adopting American children....what a concept!
The second reason we went overseas is because no matter how bad a child has it in North America, there are systems in place that will ensure that they will have a minimum standard of living when they exit the system. In other places, the life expectancy of a child that exits the orphanage system is 25-30 years old. In many cases, they just don't have the resources required to see these children have a good start in life. So choosing a child from overseas can, in many cases, be saving a life, literally.
Finally, when I adopted, we had a year of process and paperwork to work through. We didn't tell anyone except our families that we intended to adopt, because we didn't want to face pity if things didn't work out. With a star or superstar, how much more important would that privacy be? Just because it seems like they've adopted on a whim doesn't mean they weren't following all procedures for a year or two before the adoption was announced. Did the country fast track the adoption? Perhaps a file is put on the top instead of the bottom and a court date is moved up to accomodate the applicant, but that doesn't mean they didn't follow procedure. As you know, life for those that have money is sometimes made a little easier through these types of accomodations. We 'regular folk' have accepted it everywhere else, so what's different here?
As for choosing a child as a handbag, I beg to differ strongly. First, everyone has to decide what's right for their own families. Choosing a country to adopt from is part of that. Choosing a boy or girl is also part of that. Sometimes a prospective parent meets a chid and there's no connection. The parent asks for another referral. This goes on all the time in the adoption world and it's vital that parents be comfortable with the children that come into their homes or there will be no bonding. At most, it takes no more than a few referrals for a parent to 'find' their child and often it's the first child they see. Why would you deny a celebrity the same ability to choose as anyone else has? Furthermore, in some countries, that's exactly how things are done, you are sent to an orphanage, shown a room a children and asked to pick. Other countries show you one child at a time, which you have to reject before being shown another child. Both are normal procedures.
Now what about the bonding factor? Yes, if you have your own child, you get what you get. But you don't get a child that's spent the first 6 months or year or two or more in an institution. Unlike when you give birth, a child from an orphanage wasn't breast fed, didn't had the same person to comfort them when they cried and might not have had any comfort at all. If a child was taken away from their mother, there are separation issues to deal with, as well. These are all very different scenarios from those that give birth.
Okay, I don't want to scare anyone that's thinking of adopting overseas or domestically. Adoption is rewarding. In almost all cases, things go well and you bring home a child that will be a blessing to your family. Yes, there are challenges. Well what child isn't challenging? Parenthood is the hardest job in the world, but it's also the most rewarding
As for mr Trump commenting on this topic: why did you chose to have a child of your own at your (old) age, allready having several children of your own? You could have chosen to adopt a child within the states or from abroad as wel. But you didn't. At least the above mentioned celebs opened their hearts and homes to children who needed it the most, children whos parents have died or were abandoned at birth and whos birthcountries are a lot, lot poorer than the US (the US doesnt have to have any kids up for adoption or fostercare if the government (!!) would just spend enough money on social issues).
what obstacles children in third world countries are up against. It is no wonder that they choose to adopt
internationally. I think it is easy to criticize anything if you do not know the whole story. I think instead of criticizing these
celebrities, we should find out their story. It would educate
the public and put adoption in a positive light, give it the attention it deserves, and maybe inspire someone else to discover the joy and rewards adoption can bring. I know it is possible, as the idea for our family to adopt came from
reading a newspaper article one day about another family adopting. Thank you, Mr. Trump for instigating such a discussion!
Maybe we should all put some weight behind our words and do something tangible to help these kids whether US born or foreign born.
Perhaps there will be more peace on the planet one day when there is a shift in the priorities of the "United Nations."
Family matters whether you are poor or rich and famous, and I suspect that you recognize that. You seem to adore your children, but would you trade them in for a different model as you do a car? No. People adopt child to fulfill a need not acquire a possession. Children are forever, and in your case I suppose there is a need to remind you, not like wives. Many of us who have completed international adoptions do so as single parents who would never be selected in the US to be the parents of a healthy infant, have a closed adoption, or complete an adoption within 12 to 24 months. If domestic adoptions were possible for many of us they would have been an alternative selected rather than something only available for the very wealthy or traditional family with very long lead times. If you would like to do something constructive, help us work on domestic adoption reform so that all those children here have a chance for better futures.
A wise man once said:"give them a fish, and you feed a family, teach them fishing, and you feed the whole village!" My point is, that we have children in need in all countries around the world! Is it more right to adopt a child from his/her original cultural environment then support building orphanages that work properly with decent financing and support? Doing the latter we would help the local people much more then adopting one child with an expense that would feed and protect 50 child for a year!
There are many organisations trying to help children in their own environments, and one adoption fee would support their work really much!
So please if you want to satisfy your conscience with your way of thinking, do not try to hide the fact, that it is the selfish needs of us "better doing" people in play when we adopt children from less developed countries. It does not help the children of those countries as it should -but it do help the need of those who adopt to fulfill their own needs to be parents! Some people do fill that need with pets, some with adopted children - we just have it built in in us that we have to be able to nurture and grow up something that needs our support.
I am not saying adoption as such is wrong - vice versa! But like Mr. Trump asked, is it right for less well doing nations that we go and take some of their children to live with us and forget the rest? Ewan McGregor visited an orphanage in Mongolia, and as a result he adopted a child from there - but he has done much more to help all children in need, especially in Mongolia. Can we all say the same? Or have we just adopted one and forgot the rest few million?
start here.
And it's nice of you to highlight this issue in this blog. To see so many people in the comments come out and speak, especially the people who've adopted children themselves,warms my normally cold and cynical heart.
P.S. your new book with Rob Kiyosaki just arrived in the UK. I'm greedily stroking its glossy cover now.
I also wonder why the celebrities give
all their money to foreign countries.
What about the poor kids in this country
that were born unlucky, but could help
America in the future. Lets give our
own children a chance.
Have a great day:)
I think what she has done is good , even if she does not adopt an American Born kid.
The main problem of this whole world is the WAR. There is a lot of money exchanging hands, and it seems as if people are disposable and people are killed for nothing. The foundation and crux of the WAR supports ideas that are not correct. People are not very well informed and do not hold the correct position .. Best Regards Haik
With all due respect, I do not think this is a real issue. The main thing is that these children are going to be given a chance to thrive and hopefully enjoy a nice life. I commend Angelina (I know you don't care for her), but it is her life and if she wants to adopt children, then so be it. I agree there are children in the U.S. that need adoptive parents, but notice the word is not singular. There are many single, successful people who would love to adopt a child in the United States, but being single is not acceptable.
As far as the child Madonna is going to adopt, he was not even living with his father or family when she went to adopt him. So instead of him being left in a home that was not his own, she took it upon herself to allow him to have a better life.
I really don't think it matters where a child is adopted from. The main thing is to ensure the parent or parents really want the child, provide for the child and love the child.
Very few of them have food let alone tv or the internet. I think the portrayal from the media comes across in a negative context. I imagine their personal research would have started months earlier.
DON
Who really cares what one 'cog' in America's wheel would do. I know of three immediate people who have adopted children from foreign nations. Throwing her in the spot light because she is doing some 'great deed' is just pushing her publicity. The big question here is, literally and figuratively, how much did she pay you for this commentary? Also get off the public soap box and stick to business and intuition. It truly is what you do best!
Also, with regards to Helen's comment:
"People adopt child to fulfill a need not to acquire a posession."
You adopt a child because you either want a family and are unable to have children of your own, or because you want to help an orphaned child in need. You don't do it to "fulfill a need" that's one of the most selfish things I've ever heard. If someone feels they "need" to adopt a child and will not survive without it, then clearly they are delusional, or at least heavily emotionally dependent, and probably aren't fit to take care of a child in the first place.
And for those of you who are reprimanding Donald for speaking about adoption when he has not adopted a child before, that's the worst argument ever. Donald knows a lot of people, and I'm willing to bet he knows a few people who have adopted, or have researched the process. Telling people their opinions are not valid is not only disrespectful, but an insult to the foundations of this country.
You've hit the nail on the head. It is showing the plight of these countries. Although I wonder if it is not publicity, I wonder about the stability of the celebrities and the final outcome of all this remains to be seen.
I cannot agree enough! When I read some of the news articles with the Madonna adoption, it made me feel like her selection was a pit stop on the way to Gucci. She would fare better offering help to the community where the ba
From 1. http://www.unhchr.ch/children/documents.htm:
COMMISSION ON HUMAN RIGHTS
Fifty-ninth session
Item 13 of the provisional agenda
RIGHTS OF THE CHILD
Report submitted
I am glad to see that you smell something rotten in this adoption scenario. It is just the tip of the ice burg regarding Adoption in America. Adoption is a billion dollar business in this country. Full of coercion, secrets and lies, money, lawyers and sealed records. Why?
Why are prospective adopters going overseas? Why have so many other countries stopped providing children for adoption to the US?? Why are adoption and birth records still kept closed to adult adoptees? Why are mothers that have lost children to adoption still denied their medical records of the birth? Are we HIDING SOMETHING?? Why are there hundreds of children in temporary foster care praying through tears every night for a family they can call their own, permanently? Why can't some foster homes be permanant guardians with out legally adopting and changing the birth records????? Why are our politicians pushing maternity homes for our capable young unwed mothers, yet allow single parents to adopt???? Supply and demand? $$$$$$$$$$$
Infant adoption is what the majority of prospective adopters desire. Foreign adoptions have become popular because there is a greater chance of gaining an infant quickly and neatly. Infants foreign or not are desired so that you can pretend it is your own child. A clean slate. Adopting a child of a different race does make this difficult, although the chance of having problems with the original family is slim. The fast track to adoption. It is not required to tell a child that he/she is adopted in the US. US Birth records reflect the new parents as the original parents that have given birth. Adoption records are sealed. An adopted child, even as an adult in most states are denied their birth right
I am fed up with anyone who thinks that will solve the problems of Africa.
For us, Madona is the brightest light to shine on that part of the world since God said "Let There Be Light".
Mick Kord
When I watch this celebrity adoption circus for me its questionable especially in madonna's case whether its a ploy to revive media attention and get some spotlight. However, whether thats true or not there are still millions in this country in need of adoption especially
If her motives are genuine then good for her but if not then woe betides her..
I'm also glad that all the previous commentators that support Mr Trump's opinion that 'charity begins at home' never gave a staggering statistic of destitute children in America (just a couple of thousands). I am sure that while growing up as a kid most of us NEVER went to bed hungry.Millions of children in Africa live below USD 1 daily..I know because I am a product of that system.
Now that Mr Trump has broached this topic, I shall advise that he takes a trip down to Africa specifically to see the plight of children.Race,religion, or geographical location should not be a barrier to humanitarian and philantrophic efforts.
I challenge as many of us ,that would, to do some introspection. How have you contributed to the survival of a fellow human being? This is important because our stay on this planet is quite short. We all did not choose our nationality at birth, but God did and he has a reason for that.
In conclusion, I believe most of us will heed to this clarion call to positively affect the lives of children, geographical location does not matter since the world is just one big village.
I believe that when Angelina Jolie met her son Maddox it was divinely ordered. I believe she did it from Love. Like it is mentioned Mr. Trump and Mr. Kiyosaki's book " Why We Want You To Be Rich. Two Men,One Message" and I paraphrase we should do what we love and act from Love not fear.
I think Angelina's actions were "purer" if you will because they are of love. Madonna's smacks more of fear of being forgotten and out of the public eye.
This is another case of the Golden Rule. Those with the gold are making the rules. When we have some money and some influence and people are looking to see what we are doing with our riches we can support the foster care system, we can contribute to pay foster parents more, to pay for better workers to monitor the system, to provide counseling and positive social groups for children who are in the foster program to see another way other than the way that was modeled for them.
Otherwise this is all babble. As American's we love to babble and tell our opinions which as the saying goes, everyone has one.
There are a lot of emotions on all sides of the adoption issue. That has been shown on this blog. A lot of energy. It would be powerful if it could be focused into some positive reforms of the system.
I'd love to see some action.
Please check out this site, an idea for helping young mothers become successful in life for themselves and their children.
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The article is here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/05/world/americas/05guatemala.html?pag...
(You need to sign up to the nytimes, it's free)=================================================
Guatemala System Is Scrutinized as Americans Rush In to Adopt
They are all God's children.
Our son and daughter were both adopted from Guatemala.
The US makes it so hard to adopt.
My family is not racist.
Why should we let a non US born child suffer and wait while we choose to discriminate against them to get a child that looks like us.
You are sooooooooooo wrong here.