Home : Why It Is Better to Forgive

Why It Is Better to Forgive

Posted by Michael Sexton on 12/26/2006 at 10:55 AM
Posted in Leadership

We stand with our Chairman Donald J. Trump and his decision to pardon Tara Connor, Miss USA, after she broke pageant rules by partying too hard in New York City. As you know, his decision has caused white-hot controversy in the media and on this blog.

When you cut through all the media frenzy, it all comes down to one simple thing. Ms. Connor was a young woman who made bad decisions, and Donald J. Trump pardoned her and gave her another chance instead of stripping her of her title.

I'd like to cut through even more of the hype this morning, by looking at his pardon as a business decision. If you are a boss or company-owner, after all, there will be many times when you will have the opportunity to forgive one of the people who work for you. And there are some very practical reasons why that is the wisest decision, because when you forgive . . .

You communicate positive leadership values and fight the culture of blame that takes root in many organizations.
You gain the allegiance of the person you forgave and many other people through the ranks.
You free yourself to make an occasional mistake yourself, so you can explore different courses of action before selecting one. You enjoy that freedom because you have not set up yourself to be perfect.

Those are only three sound management reasons why forgiveness makes good business sense.

But you also have to remember that there are many times when it is not a good idea to forgive. You cannot forgive people who have stolen, cooked the books or engaged in fraud. And you cannot continue to forgive someone who makes bad decisions time and time again.

You also have to remember whom Donald J. Trump chose to forgive, of all the people who made mistakes this year. He didn't ask us to forgive one of those corporate executives who drained the pension funds of his own employees and sent them off to their retirements in dire financial states. He didn't ask us to forgive one of those athletes who cheated and took performance-enhancing drugs to win a bicycle race or gain an unfair edge other sports. He didn't ask us to forgive a politician who betrayed the public trust by engaging in immoral and victimizing behavior.

No, Donald J. Trump forgave a young person who made mistakes because she lacked the experience people need to make mature decisions. This morning, I'd like to encourage you to build your own success, as a leader, by doing that too.

Michael Sexton is President of Trump University.

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Michael Sexton is President of Trump University

Michael Sexton is President of Trump University.

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41 Comments

Posted by Anthony Williams on 12/26/2006 11:17 AM

I agree with what you said . It is much better to forgive people.

Moreover, what's up with Rosy making the comments that she made. Trump should not have even commented to her it's a waste of time to even talk about people like that.

Posted by Sheila on 12/26/2006 12:35 PM

I do not agree with you at all. Forgiveness is a great thing but not in this case. Girls who partake in pagents should know the rules of the game. I doubt highly that this girl woke up one morning and decided " I think I'm going to run for Miss America today " she has probably been doing this for some time now and with that said she should have know better as to what was expected of her. You wrote in your statement that he did not forgive politicians, crooks etc. but you cannot tell me that anyone will agree that those comments justify the fact that young girls in our society probably know nothing about the goings on in politics or who embezzled what in whatever company. Young girls in our society DO though follow the goings on of pagents. Those girls serve as role models to the younger ones trying to follow in their footsteps, girls who themselves take part in pagents. Being pardoned for breaking the law and drinking underage is not something that I would want my daughter setting her standards to. This was a very public decision that went about breaking all set upon standards to this organization. People are comfortable with structure and the tearing down of the Miss America rules is something that will cause disrespect. What is going to happen when the next girl does the same??? Will she also be forgiven??? What was so special about this girl??? If Mr. Trump wanted to give someone a second chance in life he should have walked to the street corner and offered a homeless person a job or rent for an apartment for a month so they could put their feet on the ground. Giving a 2nd chance to a girl who's family is well enough off to place her in pagents is absurd. The thing with Rosie O'Donnell too is just immature. I can gaurentee that alot of respect for Mr.Trump has been lost. Commenting on someones person is one thing but to make comments that can be used against a nation ( fat,ugly )is way beyond and above unacceptable.

Posted by TN on 12/26/2006 12:35 PM

How about some humor then? Have a press conference to share your good will [show yourself the bigger person]

Posted by William D Harding, Jr. on 12/26/2006 5:16 PM

No sir Mr. Sexton, it does not come down to "one simple thing". If he wants to forgive Tara Connor, fine. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is the childish statements that came from BOTH Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump in the media instead of settling this matter as adults should. Instead of acting like civilized people, they fired insulting shots back and forth using secondary media outlets to get the maximum effect. Any problem that Rosie or Donald have with the way this has been portrayed lies at their own doorsteps and they have no one to blame but themselves. If Mr. Trump still wants to use this venue to try and calm the controversy, then he should have written this column and not you Mr. Sexton. It's not your place. Let him come here and speak for himself and answer for the insulting and naive comments he made about people in general.

Posted by Matthew Marshall on 12/26/2006 6:20 PM

I dont understand why this is such a big deal, she made a mistake and she is correcting it. I do beleive the media is more focused on trump and rosie, but thats all old news now.

Posted by Justin G. on 12/26/2006 7:50 PM

Although, I do not have much to say on this matter ... What I can say is, "Here Here Mr. Sexton.
These points, minus the business ethics of Mr Trump's decision, is what I have been thinking all along. He forgave someone who made a few bad decisions, not someone who betrayed many people. Good decision Mr. Trump, and good defence Mr. Sexton. =D

Posted by robertdrakes on 12/26/2006 9:03 PM

Sometime you just have to give a person a scond chance. robertdrakes

Posted by Jeffery H. Hankins on 12/26/2006 10:02 PM

My fellow Americans, I correspond tonight in response to this commentary regarding forgiveness. I hope that my word will not fall upon deaf ears.

I'm sorry and I forgive you are two of the toughest things to say. Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong, but you just couldn't bring yourself to apologize for it? Well, I haveâ€¦and I assure you that crow is best eaten warm it is not always ea, but it's always the right thing to do. And it's one of the best ways to show what a good friend you really are and it makes you rise above the situation!

A decent person also forgives, and that is just as hard as saying you were sorry. We have all had stupid attacks, and we were allowed to learn from them. Consider that once the mistake happens, it is a mistake, and (the average person does not screw up deliberately) nothing can undo the incident, Mr. Trump might have allowed his and Miss USA's lives to be marred and burned up in petty dismay. Mr. Trump has instead exhibited a higher trait and I am sure Miss USA has learned a lesson in protocol, etiquette, and will also pass on the gift of forgiveness. Today, rather than having their lives subsumed in bitterness, both are continuing to lead important, constructive lives as part of the reconciliation effort. They keep the spirit of basic elements alive as proof positive that they feel hope rather than anger.

Strictly from the standpoint of their own self-interest, they as well as we in this GREAT COUNTRY are better off than if they had refused to forgive and ask for forgiveness.

Well done Mr. Trump & Miss USA.

Most Respectfully

Jeffery H. Hankins
Chesterfield, Michigan

Posted by Jeri on 12/26/2006 11:35 PM

An excellent article. One thing I've learned to do. I can forgive if a person is repentent and I let go even if thier not and simply have nothing more to do with them. I do this so I don't hold anything in my heart. Some may call that unforgiveness. I don't actually. It's a matter of trust. If someone hurts you over and over and over again, to me the best thing to do is simply let them go and wish them no harm. It would be foolish to keep them around. Now if a person has attempted murder or something along that line. Or wished you great harm. How can you actually let them back in your life again. That would take a great deal of time to ever trust again. If ever. There are consequences to our actions. I've had this happen to me. I would say Mr. Trump made the right decision. He knows more about the situation than we do and he was in the position to make the call.

Posted by JONI BROWN on 12/27/2006 2:13 AM

Mr Sexton why was Miss USA forgiven for a few "bad decisions" even though she had already won the Miss USA position, new what was expected of her and still made a decision to party hard in New York. Along comes poor Miss Nevada who at 17 years old made some "bad decions",long before she was in the beauty pagent, since winning the pageant she has conducted herself professioally
and yet Mr Trump dumps her without a thought. I've never seen such unfairness in my life. What about her "second chance!"

Posted by Mary Rose on 12/27/2006 7:16 AM

The Bible says to forgive 70X70 times. Always forgive. Then the person who is forgiven should seek to restore the relationship. Love the restorative justice concept- where the criminal is restored to the community

Posted by Lisa on 12/27/2006 9:48 AM

I have never been much of a Trump fan, but I didn't hate him either...until I heard the immature, outragous, and down right AWFUL things he said about Rosie O'Donnell. However he felt about her comments, it still didn't give him the right to attack her appearance, personal life and WIFE. He sounded like a 12 year old on the playground, and let the entire world know how shallow he is. Tell me this, if Rosie were skinny and looked like Angelina Jolie, would he have had anything resonable to say then? Either way that just shows you what a complete moron he is. And I am glad his true colors are finally out there for all to see.

Posted by Craig Ferrara on 12/27/2006 1:59 PM

Read this:
http://money.cnn.com/2006/12/26/magazines/moneymag/trumpmortgage.mone...

What will he do about this cenario?
This is a disgrace to the Trump Organization.

Posted by C. Metcalf on 12/27/2006 3:18 PM

I wanted to take the time and post a comment on the Miss USA/Rosie O'Donnell issue. I think it was perfectly justifiable to defend yourself from the remarks made against you and to state the truth (if the statements that you made were even true themselves- see wikipedia (and sue them also??)), but the harsh, vile, and downright disgusting statements that you have in return made about Rosie O'Donnell are unbelievable. Not only do you find the need to retaliate , but to belittle, degrade, and outright harrass her is uncalled for. You have come across as homophobic, hateful and mean. I'm sure that you enjoy the attention that you are getting from this stunt, but I hope that it comes back to bite you in the ass. I'm sure that we've not seen the end of your shenanigans, and that it all may gain you a little publicity and air-time, but in the end, I'm sure your "dedicated fans" will cease to be seen and all of the "multi-billion dollar" ventures will cease to exist. Maybe bankruptcy is yet again in your future? Keep talking, and maybe you'll see those "lies" become truths.
As far as the Miss USA issue, I do myself believe in second chances, but a second chance at a title that she doesn't deserve is not what she needs. Miss USA is supposed to be a role model for young girls, and although a large majority of young girls make mistakes themselves, a role model of that kind, I'm sure, is not what the parents of these young girls want them to see. Rehab is not pretty. It should not be hidden, but it should definitly not be rewarded and praised. She should bow down gracefully, do her "time", recover, and then dedicate time to teaching young girls that they can lose out on things in life for choices that they make, but that they can eventually overcome those obsticals and move on. A lesson taught is a lesson learned isn't it?

Not a Fan Anymore,
C. Metcalf

Posted by Jeri on 12/27/2006 3:34 PM

It seems I need to add something. Not everyone believes in the Bible. It is written that Jesus says at some point "I know you not." Forgiveness is of the heart and the actions that follow may not look like forgiveness. But they are. The justificaton why Miss USA was given a second chance and Miss Nevada was not is not up to us. It's up to the people in charge. In any corporation not all of the employees and usually not the public know everything behind the scenes. It's not wise. There's actually no reason for it. The same goes for the government. It was Mr. Trumps position for Miss USA and as far as Miss Nevada??? Maybe she chose the wrong channel. Do we know the whole story? No. Should we? Not necessarily. Donald Trump is not a perfect person. There are sides I've seen that make me want to knock his head off. But I've come to trust his judgement and lay the responsibility back his shoulders, where it belongs. There's much more to Mr. Trump than we know. Than what we see. I've come to love and admire him and I probably will until the day I die.

Posted by sharon on 01/03/2007 12:49 AM

I think Rosie and Donald should go on Jerry Springer to resolve their diffrences!

Posted by Christi Griffin on 01/03/2007 6:16 AM

Look at the inconsistencies in the statement given

Posted by DarÃo E. Delgado Z. on 01/03/2007 10:43 AM

Sometimes it's better to forgive.

Posted by Mary on 01/03/2007 7:58 PM

Never been a big fan of yours, but now you are the Man!! Can't stand RosieO'Donnell and can't figure out why she has to have an opinion on everything. Go Donald!

Posted by d shoemaker on 01/03/2007 8:57 PM

The only reason he forgave this young woman is because she is a young, white, good looking bimbo. Trump is a racist, multi-phobic joke of a human being. He only knows how to manipulate and bully people. He is not a "brilliant businees man", he is a number on bullshit artist salesman, and people buy into it hook, line and sinker. As for forgiveness, his is self-serving and false.

I feel sorry for the masses who see this withering philanderer as a demi-god.

All of this is clearly an opinion, and not fact... my disclaimer.

Peace.

Posted by monica on 01/03/2007 9:21 PM

Reading these posts reinforces to me how our morals have broken down.
Miss USA and Miss America are supposed to be role models from the get go. They are supposed to represent the best of the best, purity, responsibility and good judgement. If they do not have these attributes from the beginning, they have no business being crowned at all.
Does America not know what these women have always represented? It is a horrible compromise to allow someone who made a bad judgement call to keep a crown. Unfortunately getting it doesn't take what it used to to have the honor of representing our state/nation. It is ashame that our moral fiber continues to break down year after year. Miss USA/America is now nothing more than a cattle call. Women have no modesty integrity or honor anymore. Whoever shows the most skin the best and has the whitest teeth wins.
One thing I do agree with Iraqi's about is how our nation promotes the exact opposite of what is important in life.
I am embarressed to have anyone think that because I am an American that I support this garbage.
The metality of the Miss America/Miss USA title (which ever it is) is as assnine as it's owner.
Mr. Trump, just because a person has money does not make them smart. You are one of the most WISDOM(LESS) people I have ever seen. Although I do not care for Rosie, at this point I would have to say that she is really a lot smarter than you and that doesn't say much does it? What she says about you is true and she has a right to say it.
Another truth for you..........YOU ARE NOT GOODLOOKING

Posted by Gilbert on 01/03/2007 9:44 PM

So, shouldn't Trump then forgive O'Donnell?

Posted by Mike P on 01/03/2007 10:17 PM

The only person who has a right to decide to forgive or not to forgive is the Trump Organization via Mr. Trump. This is his choice. Unfortunately, the people who critizie Mr. Trump for the situation that has developed with "Rosie" do not understand that she is not capable of understanding anything else, put in any other context, explained any other way. She is a very confused and sad figure in the world of entertainment. She has proven her inability to fit into society and must be hit between the eyes with a stick like a mad dog to get her attention. This is who and what she is. Finally, someone who has stood up to the bully. We need more of this straight forward approach in America.

Posted by Kim on 01/03/2007 10:30 PM

Should I forgive and walk away??? I've been attempting to purchase a piece of property from someone who must be completely stupid, (but not malicious) and her realtor/agent is simply incompetent from what I can tell. My own realtor dug up a lease that lasts 9 1/2 more years on this property at a rate of payment of $5 per YEAR (no kidding), which makes the property nearly worthless. It doesn't have any water rights, either, but the realtor insists that it does - but provides no documentation whatsoever. The property is covered with old vehicles and debris from years of non-use, and the owner has done nothing to have them removed for the 2 months we have had this property under contract. It is in the purchase agreement that all debris must be removed from the property before closing, or the owner would be in default, and have to match my earnest money, which is $10,000. I have serious doubts that I would be able to pry the default cash from her, even if I am legally entitled to it. The lease on the property is iron-clad, according to my realtor's lawyer, but since it wasn't disclosed

Posted by mb on 01/03/2007 10:57 PM

I just heard Donald speaking with Greta on Fox News. He is so right. Barbara Walters is doing what she has to do for now but she is going to get tired of ba

Posted by Michelle on 01/03/2007 11:27 PM

Great free publicity for "The View" "Miss America" and "The Apprentice" I wonder though if you get what you pay for. I think they should be named "The Crude View" "Miss America Gone Wild" and the "The Your Mama Wears Combat Boots Apprentice" There's not a one of them in the group that our children can look up to and certainly not aspire to be like.

Posted by MF on 01/04/2007 2:51 AM

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN REGULAR VIEWERS OF ALL FIVE SEASONS OF THE APPRENTICE. DUE TO MR. TRUMP'S TRAILOR TRASH COMMENTS AGAINST ROSIE WE WILL NO LONGER BE VIEWING. MR. TRUMP WHAT HAPPENED YOU SUNK YOURSELF TO A NEW LOW

Posted by Terri on 01/04/2007 3:56 AM

I so tired if this crap. I'm a big and beauiful woman. Who doesnt not agree with Rosie all the time, but Trump or you to call someone fat and ugly is just mean. You are a mean man and now in my eyes a little man. When you said you are not running for office that may be true, but you are in the public. Young children have seem what you said about big and beauiful women and you are wrong in that area. Oh and

Posted by Elizabeth on 01/04/2007 7:56 AM

I have become a huge fan of Donald Trump since Rosie O'Donnell opened her big mouth and began trashing him. She is a big fat waste. Calling her a pig is a compliment compared to some of the names he could have come up with for her.

Posted by krollins on 01/04/2007 8:19 AM

DT.... said give her a second chance....they are suppost to be role models....what kind of mesg is this sending out kids...in certain times,like this.... 2nd chances are NOT or should NOT be and option.

Posted by krollins on 01/04/2007 8:23 AM

u said she insulted you...but what do you call what u have said about her????

Much worse than what she has about you...

Do you realize you would be a Lonely man without the $$$$

Posted by Judy on 01/04/2007 8:38 AM

The "pardoned" title holder may have youth on her side when justifying her poor judgement, but what about the VERY mature Mr. Trump? How does he justify his immature behavior? Name-calling and viciousness certainly are not attributes to be admired. My father was such an intelligent, kind, GENTLEMAN that he would never have displayed the public, childish and downright mean behavior that the Donald has displayed against Rosie O'Donnel. Are we to admire him??? Money does not give people special rights to verbally attack someone the way he has. Rosie is just as entitled to her opinion as anyone in the country is. I, too, think Mr. Trump's hair is hideous, he is not appealing, and without his money, many would find him less interesting. I admire REAL men that do not have to feed their egos

Posted by billy on 01/04/2007 8:56 AM

am a fan of yours Donald, from zambia. ojne thing that needs to be taken into consideration is that forgiveness is cardinal in every person's life. you did well to forgive tara but bear in mind the precedent you are setting. people will be looking to your next decision in case of a similar incident repeating itself. then you will hear more of rosie alikes. what will you do.otherwise, you are a great man who should keep the esteem many of us hold you with. don't answer back at someone you know is a nobody Mr. Trump, you will loose nothing at all but increase on the respect many of us have for you.forgiveness is cardinal.

Posted by Rebecca on 01/04/2007 9:34 AM

Thank you, Mr. Trump, for your perseverance in regards to Rosie O'Donnell's televised assault against you. Her also recent televised attack against Kelli Rippa, and her callous on-air response to the Oriental debacle were conveniently "swept under the carpet". The response to the Oriental population that I refer to was, in a nutshell, "sorry you were offended, but be aware that I will probably make the same type of comment again a week from now because that is who I am". Hmmm, one standard for Rosie, a different standard for the rest of us! If Rosie is truly as popular as The View portrays her to be, can anyone explain why The View website has removed the ability to email Rosie from their homepage and left that ability intact for the other three co-hosts?

Posted by Lene on 01/04/2007 1:30 PM

Since it is better to forgive, why doesn't Mr. Trump just forgive Rosie and stop acting so childish? If he doesn't like what Rosie said (and neither do I), why does he stoop to her level? Such a successful business man acting like a teenager. Pitiful, really.

Posted by MM on 01/04/2007 1:43 PM

Good Day All People...Black White Brown Red Yellow...mix them all up and you'll get hmm probably Black again.
After reading the other comments, I was very surprise to notice the hostility in the last few entries.
Taking entertainment too serious...and to judge people who are in the entertainment business is an delusion on the one who is judging. Donald Trump forgave the young woman, so what, its time for reality to surface and all this talk of representing our country...what thru a pageant, lets get real, & so what she partied hard, do you think shes the only one of the so-called elite that parties, she just got caught. And it doesn't equate what she will put forth in the future, its only part of a story.
Calling Donald Trump names...people Trump is not to blame for racism in America nor the blame for our shallow culture! Now is he going to save the world NO, will he stand up for crucial issues in America probably NO! Trump is just trying to make as much money isn't that the American Way?! Even with Trump University, I thought now here's a man who what to see a growth in the wealth population for Americans...but the more I observed the more I realize again...its all about money for himself again nothing new. Now if Trump is predjudice...so what who cares, he is not the only follower in this tradition. The energy within the statements made about Trump should be rephrased and redirected toward ourselves. There is mammouth consideration for people in the Entertainment business...too much! But I truly understand your feelings...yes keep observing, but control your resulting energy, for it will be needed in how you learn then teach those within reach. Otherwise playing the role of the typical compliaining peasant wanna be rich.

Oh and I'm a African American Woman, just keeping it things in perspective, keeping it real!

Posted by Karen J on 01/04/2007 2:00 PM

Re: Miss USA, you do better, when you know better. I believe, her having a problem, will help others seek a second chance.Get a clue, this is not a perfect world, we all make mistakes. We do not remain our experiences, hopefully we grow from them. Tara, you show them girl, make all young teens proud,

Posted by Betsy on 01/04/2007 2:16 PM

You, sir, have no class. The only conclusion I can make from your tirades is that you're looking for more publicity. You parse words

Posted by jennifer on 01/04/2007 4:18 PM

Donald Trump. A BIG THANK-YOU for standing up to Rosie O'Donnell. She has does nothing but repeatedly offend and bully everybody with the weapon of her mouth because that is all she has. Now she will have to be responsible for what she says. I have never been so offended

Posted by member1517342 on 03/17/2007 1:44 PM

Dear Michael,

Re: forgiveness: Your boss Mr. Trump has better things to do, then pick fights with Rosie, or anyone. He let Tara slide, which I agree was the right thing to do. I used to watch his show, and really enjoyed learning from the real experiences. I do not judge Donald, but I find it hard to watch and learn from him, since he has showed so much anger on TV. I am not afraid of anger, but it makes me nervous inside. My reason for this post: Donald could stop going after Rosie, if he wanted to. Don't say, he not going after her, I could see it in his face. Just waiting for the right moment, and he has friends in high places, ready to help!

My take: Rosie is not defending terrorist, SHE IS DEFENDING HUMAN RIGHTS, AND FAIR TREATMENT FOR ALL. . Hey remember this--- EYE FOR A EYE, AND WE ALL WOULD BE BLIND? Rosie, like many wants peace, so it we want peace, STOP FIGHTING

Those that suffer depression, are very sensitive individuals, and feel the pain of others, more than most. Please Donald, consider letting go of the Rosie thing, and show us you do have a kind soul. I really want you to embrace the forgiving side that I know is there, so you will remain happy, healthy, and over flowing with JOY! then you will have it ALL!

Best wishes, to you and your loved ones.
Farm girl
take care Michael

Posted by member1976771 on 05/12/2009 11:44 AM

I have intermittently watch Donald Trump over the years but really want to praise him for standing up for Miss California. Someone needed to put an end to the whinning etc. Mr. Perez just showed what an idiot he is. I never knew who Perez the moran was til he made himself look so stupid.

Thank you again Mr. Trump for standing up for Miss California and her rights.

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