Managing Difficult People

I believe our world content more of old people then more stubborn people with their opinion.
I think the best people can do when the situation unsupportive, just silent for temporary, and build a strong feet. Then come back with enough bullets in your pocket.
Life such as circle, sometimes we are on top and sometimes we are at the bottom. Do we need to answer all questions? Be wise to make a new step and keep watch over surround you. No need to speak too much! And make a certain steps. Good Luck to people who struggle in Apprentice!!!

People like to put blame on others rather than take responsibility for their own actions. Finding the negative about people is easier than finding the positive. Even as kids we always found something we didn’t like about a person; they had a funny name, they looked different, they had "weird" clothes. Television shows have now started showing the negative sides of people as well. American Idol for example shows all the people who have been rejected (rejected is a negative word). Why not give them a positive statement of "It takes guts to come on national TV and sing like that in front of millions of people" Why don’t they do it? Because it’s easier to be negative.

Everyone should do something "crazy" for one week: Don’t say anything negative about anyone for any reason, be 100% positive. See if you can do it. I bet most can’t do it for 1 day much less 7.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Eversdyk
http://donaldeversdyk.blogspot.com/

Mr. Trump
if the show did¨t take place last week end, hmm,
hope that where just some technical
aspects there and that everyone is just fine!
perhaps when the Heidi*s team change the residence
it was a demoralizing moment and somehow, Marisa
pushed hard on energy buttons of the team, why they where splitted acting from 2 places, and if soo, you know, I loved the tent image with all of them 18 enthusiast hands on one of another, competitors but TEAM
with heands on all and screaming happy!! you know, as knights of swords and cape with theyre round table ..round table!!
at theyre counseil round table !!
why not in our modern times and in that case particulary they did¨t join eachother touching the hands one for all, all for one, a cola or a 7Up and blades to wrotte on, or hans in hands 1 min in silence after eyes in eyes, let¨s let the ideas rivers flow in joy of select ideas laughing...each one his turn. Marisa pushed hard but in difficult moments they must glue as other team does by the fire, know eachother, fresh wind with the new coleague, nice move Mr Trump with the boy to the other team by help, Heidi team forget the fine class, as one of them was able to get higher a team, the secret is inside the team ...
At least a shake the hands as they start it, in life also in bussiness have more value than wrotten words. when 2 shake the hands with joy than nothing can stop that mutual Go forward, all for one and one for all
they know for what they fight where they put the fire too as simply at it sounds is not, I know and don¨t know nothing, but really, show must go on, let¨s listen a bit at Freddy Mercury song or at which one you resonate at most soo many look at theshow and learn from live with you the tent moments or every single image your eyes see there! and as seen in the blog the maaany readers have opinions, they wait the next one, what*s up there, please?! you do it all fantastik! and too many miss it that week end! Panta rei, all is flooding, is ok, go forward, please.
Dana
look, perhaps is not the right moment to talk about but as earlier i touched the family subject (in posting)by the way that we can¨choose it but we walk in the life path as we are , with the best or bads accepting it or faighting against?
the TEAM also as concept win sometimes more intrinsic values . as much hours we spend in a team, we learn we know we understand we adapt and at least we live a big part of our life sharing it between family and team..well here is the fine balance , look I know nothing, but shake the hands are deciding simple tool before or after sharing thissame common ideas,politics, scope, bussiness or life path...
or whatever between.
Thanks again, and really hope to did¨t hate the style too much , Dana

Good Morning,
Dana again just to complete the comments from yesterday, about the family we can¨t choose where we born...but well the one we can fulfill all the unmeet wishes of the soul. to fit into the right harmonious team, it can be easyer, the predominant principle there are contagious and easyer to apply it...when a team put the TEAM scope above the ..all negatiefe or positief between, we accept it and we handle it as good we can, regarding circumstances too,than it*ll be just OK,isn*t?
have a good day!
Dana

A
Go(o)d manager is a person
who knows him self, than he
understands the *other*.

If a manger is a wo/ men who
is the biggest mistery to her/himself,
RUN!

Ina Matijevic***

Watching everything that happened, do you Marisa deserved to be fired? Yes, she was annoying, but she persisted giving ideas, at least 3 (though you tought it was one), even with Heidi shuting her down?
If you had watched all the scenes, would your decisions be the same? I hope not.

Donald I wasn't going to include this comment. I wrote it, copied it, decided to hang on to it and wait and see. But it seems I must. You know, maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I'm just so much different than others. To some maybe my standards are too high. I'm not sure. I like high standards.So here it is: (however, as I went along I did some editing)
Paragraphs 3 and 4 are absolutely correct. However, when the weaknesses and the disruptions are great the perpetrator (s) have to be eliminated. There's a matter of respect for positions of authority that must be honored. There's a code of ethics that must be upheld or you end up with anarchy and your projects have a tendancy to fail.
In this situation, since there was a team member (s) who felt very strongly about their idea (s), I as a team leader may have given the go ahead with the understanding I didn't necessarily agree and one of two things would happen. It would succeed to everyones benefit and I would definitely give credit where credit is due or fail and the responsibility fall clearly on the shoulders of the individual. I don't necesarily simply like shooting things down. It's irresponsible. But sometimes necessary. By the way. the project manager Heidi, is not really a team player either. She seems to have placed herself to high. It seems she has traveled in territories she wasn't invited. She has an uppity attitude about herself. Which makes it difficult to work on a team. You can see it. She overshadows. a team leader doesn't overshadow. They lead. Some times the safest place is team leader. In my opinion it's the team leaders responsibility to make sure things work. That's what they're paid for. She seems to have placed herself in great importance and she isn't. You also seem to have women on YOUR show that use their female side to get what they want and that's not good. They'll fail somewhere along the line. It doesn't last and there usually ends up being casualties and monetary costs. (to them as well) I know I wouldn't want them on my team or in my company. Women such as these have a tendancy to go after men who are not theirs. If nothing else merely for position or simply money. Men who may belong to someone else. I don't use my feminine side to get a position or money. My qualifications go before me and prove who I am. Not my sexuality or my sensuality. That's for personal use (only). Not for business. Of course some do turn that into a business. You don't need sex on the job. At least not from someone that isn't your's and never will be. A company needs to stay clean.
Well Donald an interesting article as usual.
I love you.
You're a King. You know what I mean. You know you are.
Hope to see you soon.
Jerilynn

Managing Difficult People needs to follow some very base rules.

First it is easy to fire someone, but it is the team that takes down the curtain leading to any dismissal. It is the leader and boss who delegates the flavor of team members to do this job for him or her. Button pushers if you will. If the dismissal is drawn out disaster sets in and only the leader can dismiss any given scenario. So the button pusher is left to sink or swim.

In order to manage difficult people with any moderate form of decorum this phase needs to be omitted. A genuine leader who has hired that individual in the first place, extended a pay cheque, time, and exposure, should want at some level to arrive at a positive outcome that does not invite any need for button pushers to evolve.

It is the leader's job to confidentially direct that player in the right direction. In all my years of employment I have seen very few with this talent it is a rare quality, and so without this quality you will always have a broken team plan.

I just finished another round of debate with someone who did not like mentally challenged people.

When I pointed out that in the United States dangerous jobs such as cleaning toilets with toxic fume cleaners might not earn the same medical plan as a pencil pusher sitting at a clean desk and that this system costs tax payers instead of the company with clean toilets.....

Well there is room for everyone we just have to set our priorities straight. Simply tossing out responsibility for our part in the grand scheme of things can't work in the long run.

Who needed the medical plan ?

The environmentally correct pencil or the toilet ?

Who conveyed the message more effectively the sound of the flush or the message in the pencil ? Who speaks for who in a team and who takes responsible for the message conveyed.

They say that "the squeeky wheel gets the grease". What most people don't consider however is that if a wheel squeeks too much, it can be replaced! This was definitely the case with Marisa.

It is important for a professional to be passionate about what he or she is doing. It is also critical that the professional takes a proactive approach to completing a task. However, there's a fine line between injecting an idea and being a nuisance.

In order to manage difficult people, creative, outside-of-the-box thinking is necessary. Like Mr. Trump points out, a manager must determine the strengths of the person and utilize those in order to complete a task. Psychology is sometimes needed to disarm the overzealousness of the person and the focusing of that person. It's a simle process but it is not necessarily easy.

Marisa did not have any other tools in her arsenal of ideas. She was banking on that one concept to get her through the task (very reminiscent of Sam's "$1,000 cup of lemonade" idea from Season 1). Marisa pushed and pushed and inevitably dug her own grave. She alienated herself from her team when she could have simply altered her strategy to make it work with the team.

Anthony Cilio (a.k.a. DJ Tony "Prep")
All Around Sound Entertainment

Donald and others, I have a general question: would you categorize Compassion for others as an essential quality for business success?

I thought Heidi should also have been fired. Marisa didn't come up with enough ideas, but they weren't necessarily bad ideas and Heidi kept shooting her down. Since I didn't get to see everything that actually happened, since we only get to see what is shown on television, I do know that managers can create a gang bang mentality toward one person when they keep shooting them down. Also, if Heidi had been more receptive and supportive, then maybe Marisa would have responded in kind by coming up with more and better ideas. It's sort of human nature to resist those who resist you.

Again, as it relates to Heidi, Aimee is not a great salesperson as was pointed out by Sean/Shawn. (Sorry for any misspelling.) But, as Aimee pointed out, she did do the best she could do in that task. And I believe her. However, Heidi, instead of bringing in the head of the Sales Team brought in Aimee because of Marisa pointing a finger at her. That tells me, that Heidi, again, put the spotlight on someone for the rest of the group to focus on for the next time around. And it also told me, she doesn't hold the true decision-maker for a project accountable.

Also, it seemed the team wasn't emotionally behind Heidi in this task. I remember her asking who the team was willing to let go of, when they lost a team member. I thought that was again, a demonstration of her willingness, to start a gang bang type initiation against a member of her own team. Slight things, but seems to be a pattern of her behavior. I thought she should have been a leader and gone to the other team, and shown her ability to lead them as well, especially since they are almost all men, and she's over an almost all women team. Let's face it, if she's going to do a construction type project for you, she'll be working with a lot of men. But, that was outside of her comfort zone, she preferred to sacrifice one of her own. She can lead her team, but she shirked on taking the opportunity to lead the other.

There is a fine line walked and Marisa is very talented but being so head strong and her down fall is not listening finaly pushed her off the team. I feel she was one of the most talented people on the team... But that doesn't allways cut it... You can have the best looking resume in the world but if you have no street smarts and are not aware of your surroundsing you are doomed to fail and failed she did. I felt Heidi was the weak link.... The double chicken idea was great.. The whole idea is to get a mind set before or change a mind set... That is why they would have been coming in. Now the people coming in came in on their own meaning they already new what they wanted because they made the commentment in their head of what food they wanted......Think about it.. if ur going to eat at a certian place u are going because you are 99% sure what u want to order.... Now if u see a crazy chicken on the road and it is saying "new" or "speical" you are going to see what it is .... you make the choice to go see it. You made the comment to see it... business 101... your sold on seeing what it is... now when u show up u say to your self well i'm here ill buy it anyways and check it out. As for Heidi.. she was trying to sell to people whos minds were already made up... When i was in college we used to stand in drive throughs to get people to order for us since we didnt have a car after a night of drinking... The marketing of selling in the drive through was so loser-ish. In this case the better of the two were fired... but the best isn't always the right choice in business....

A good comment from Mr. Trump. As a teen, a business mentor of mine told me "Jim, in business and in your personal world, when it comes to the people you bring around you, you are only as strong as your weakest link. If you find a weak link and can't make it strong, get rid of it." We all rub shoulders with difficult people. Sometimes, unknowingly, these people become our conscience, when our focus becomes tunnel vision. Working through the rough stuff together gives us a chance to step back, review the big picture and together strengthen our joint commitment to our goal. It's important to be a builder of people, not just dollars or empires. It's equally important to know when you've done all you can do to help a person synergize within the team environment, beyond that point they are an organizational drain, a parasite, and it's time to sever the tie. The strong will use the experience of being released to propel themselves forward into greater things.

Mr Trump, I am in awe of your statement in relation to The Apprentice scenario with Marisa, how fabulous it is to hear from a true leader and I say that because very few managers that I have come across with would have had the clarity and foresight to see the real issue as you have done.
I am a firm believer in leaving your attitude at the door and although Marisa did not present her case well or offer alternative options and use her passion in a persuasive manner, she did not fail either - the team did, they excluded her from the start based on their personal opinions of her, which to me just means that should you actually employ one of these people, they will be tempted to employ their mates rather than what may be the best person for the job. I hope they wake up, sooner rather than later!

Joanne Lee
Marketing and Events Manager
Australia

After Reading many of these long brand-egoed soapbox dissertations I cannot help but to say something negative; they go too far off-topic and stray from quality posts. This bad habit alone absorbs energy from the rest of the Team...

Many posts simply do not make focal sense... I was exhausted reading several of the follow-ups to this stub... Business every day is a Marketing/Sales wrought battle, no matter what your industry and expertise. I feel I can safely say there is not one maven anywhere who would bill-out (nor read for that matter) any of these posts other than Mr. Eversdyk's and/or my own. The result is just as Marisa was guilty of, many of these posts stray from a clear point - solely chasing the tails of thier own ideas - a common bad behavioral trait of social network forum feedback.

A leader knows to msg short concise effective empowering messages and not always post the efficient over detailed ones which stray from a clear message. This ongoing responsibility of the leadership role is a burden of the duty of a pure Leader who truly wishes to empower his/her Team to keep moving their business' performance needle forward.

kudos to :: THE DONALD - keep bloggin!
sincerely,
JeremyAnderson.com

To go further with my comment about the role of Compassion for others in business ...

I have read all the posts so far and I agree with Dana that we are also here to meet the needs of our souls, and a big part of that journey is to find and fit harmoniously with a supportive team. No person can survive in isolation/rejection indefinitely. Since teams at work are often mirrors and extensions of family life and early childhood dynamics, there are going to be alot of people with unresolved issues which they then project onto their Team at work. If the dominant mentality is ultimately irrational - i am not talking about a construction project specifically but take another example from the blog- the janitor dealing with toxins who has no insurance and is low-paid, vs. the low-risk/no-risk bureaucratic worker who has every benefit imaginable - well maybe a person who rebels at this Dominant Norm is in fact correct and should be paid attention to, rather than excluded and eliminated.

A business culture without compassion will also be doomed to fail. Eventually you will end up with a society of predators and soon the predators start to eat each other, since all the weak have already been ruined and expelled. That is called Decline of Empire.

There is so much lip service in this country about Yoga, the Dalai Lama, following Jesus, and Unity ... but when it comes to dollars and gaining glory well there is a real disconnect and people justify their own selfish behavior by saying "it's just business". I was always surprised at how the War mentality - dominate and control - extends into the business world. There is more than enough money and resources to go around if people would only open up to that concept and stop feeling that in order to succeed they need to destroy something or someone else. I feel it is weaker to hoard wealth and destroy other people and resources in order to succeed, than to open up and create opportunities for more people to enjoy the benefits of our abundant society.

hi Donald and others - i just sent a nice comment and forgot to add my name - Rebecca A. Hale.

thanks

It is obvious, to the viewing audience, that the blame for Kinetic's failure lay squarly on Heidi's doorstep. Everybody used Marisa as a scapegoat because they knew Mr. Trump would not fire the supposedly sacrosant Prime Ministress "Heidi". I would lay 100 to 1 that Heidi wins this competition, when you are the bosses (and producers') favorite, you can do no wrong. Everybody else is there just for show. If I were in this competition, I would do everything I could to melt Heidi's snow job and expose her for the loser she really is. She did not win the first two tasks, the other team lost. She lucked out on the first, the second was lost by that guy with pink drawers. If I had been in that board room, I would have told Trump to fire Heidi and make Marisa PM. But nobody likes Marisa, he whined. So much for the challenge it is to work for somebody you don't like, but have to do what they say anyway because they were appointed boss. Marisa did not get a chance. She was cut off at the knees by that loser Heidi. I predict Heidi will move to the background, for now, and smooth sail through the competition to win.

Didn't I read this exact same idea in Dale Carnegie's book?

This is an interesting comment on corporate politics- namely the tendency in companies is to hire and promote based on how much people like you, rather than how qualified you are for the job. The end result is a substandard work force filled with "good ol'boys" who are more interested in their friends than they are in doing what is the the best interests of the company. And then they gripe "well how could this have happened?!" when their company gets closed down or bought out due to lack of performance. How did this happen??? Look to thine own ass! I do believe that people skills are important and if a person is so disruptive to the environment that they interfere with the ability to get the job done- that should be a factor in whether or not to hire or promote them. But otherwise- for the purposes of maintaining job security- qualifications, please! http://www.myspace.com/98656180

i totaly agree with you Mr.Trump

But as one of difficult people styles is the fox style, who likes to get all things, his rule is "I win and other lose"
he tryes to make you as a manager or even as a frined to fall down to take your chair easly
how can we deal with such character?, even if you try to help him, he still dont like goodness for you

M.Omar

Ummm .... is that Dale Carnegie comment directed at me? that's true those are theoretical ideas but i am training to work with preschool children, so i think quite a bit about ideas and concepts that can change the future, and the way we teach our children to think about business and money will most definitely be shaping the future, near term and short term.

but i agree with M. Omar. what can we do about those foxy people who want to hurt us, even if we only wish them well and try to help them? they still want to steal, and badmouth us behind our backs for being stupid enough to let them.

i am not sure, but i know that foxes are not all bad. foxes also have positive characteristics. i guess the Golden Rule of treating others how you would like to be treated is a good norm. I am not the most experienced business person on this blog but what do you think? Does that concept apply in business? the Golden Rule is to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself. it appears in basically the same form in almost all spiritual cultures.

Rebecca Ann

Serious, focused, goal oriented. Time to get extremely busy.

Absolutely it would take a couple of years. Never hurts to start working a crowd early.

Nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Trust me.

Compassion
is
the
Mother
of success.
Beautiful thoughts.

Ina Matijevic

For ***Rebecca A. Hale. ***
http://www.starchildglobal.com/

Some people are only difficult because they really do not understand you. So i think communication is really the most important thing.

Mis communication comes along when we try to see things ONLY from our viewpoint by trying to see things from the other peoples shoes we bridge the gap of miscommunication.

I also found this resource which could help:
http://www.cvtips.com/types_of_difficult_people.html

A twist on managing difficult people

I want to own my education. My father's education was sponsored and I would like to acheive the same however with the point of having earned this education through default as a student walking blocks from the oil refineries on my way to school at what age ? Five or six ?

This year I had a conversation regarding politics and peace initiatives and it came to a fine point... would I take the job ? I can't not yet.

Oh to extract the blunt from said bull's nose, no country is implied, and how to bend the knee of a bull before you do so. Blunt is a slurred reference to cigars to be sure.

It became a coined visual for other conversations that followed because really how do you have a bull bend his knee and allow you to extropolate an item such as this from his nose ?

Perhaps a modified condom is all you need to cover the cigar ?

In having 'difficult' oil companies sponsor my stay with Trump we need to find these answers for Kyoto and so many other executives who wish to continue on the path to oil and money without the added expense of compromising the qualities of education as we know it in the surrounding communities and abroad for as the world turns so to do we breath the same air at the end of the day.

(c) Isabelle Morgan

A question posed to me this week, does Donald Trump actually participate in this forum or does he delegate these tasks to others.

I don't want to misrepresent Mr Trump can you answer this question for those readers ?

Isabelle Morgan

Thank you for saying a good leader strives to find the good and the strengths of fellow teammates. Complaining is natural. Encouraging takes more skill. Max Du Pree wrote a book called Leadership without Power. In it he talks of good leaders using the same skill of encouraging others thru difficult situations. I believe servant leadership is a good quallity in those circumstances.

Donald, you got it.
Jerilynn

Well I listened to a rather interesting interview and repeatedly Mr Trump could be heard to say USA has no friends, in fact he states they are hated.

I don't think this is a new concept since 9-11. I found in all my visits to the States some that reach as far back as the sixties there was a lack of manners. There was a lot of pollution, and a general assuming attitude that turns people off.

Americans have a chance to turn that around somewhat as Mr Trump attempts to set an example. Sadly I heard someone say today, and they were American, that Mr Trump was not an action man. In fact they called him a chicken ? Ouch !

Well I think Mr Trump has manners and money so somewhere there has been a consistent action plan. Yet an American saw him as inactive ?

I think it is time for the worldteam to bring Mr Trump to his next level.

A pure sense of action for a good cause.

I know you can do it Mr Trump, in fact I always visualize your jump just before mine. Your form is perfect everytime.

Donald,
Speaking of managing difficult people. For Wrestlemania 23 I think you you'd look good entering the arena straddling a nice chopped Super Glide or Low Rider. Preferrably Glide I think. Black, lots of chrome. Extened fork but not to far. Raised handle bars not to high and facing out just a bit. Chrom spoke wheels. No fancy paint job just sleek black and chrome lines. Perfect with a nice black suit. Gold tie. Maybe a nice black shirt and a gold hankie just barely sticking out of your jacket pocket. Or your beautifull long black coat over your black suit or what ever you want. Just a thought. Just don't let no lady drive you in. A nice gentleman in leathers would be beautiful. Just a thought. Since your in the wrestlemania arena. Knock em dead! Been to cage matches in my time. Interesting. I'll be watching if I can. Arena's a little far since I'm still in Oklahoma. One thing. Something tells me you ain't no jeans man. Course I could be wrong. A nice pair of leathers? Wwwwellll? But leathers are hot and your pretty hot already. Just a thought. On managing difficult people. There may be quite a few in an arena like that. Been there. Done that. Just be watchful who you have in your corner. It could be a turning point. You want it in the right direction. After all you deffinitely strut your own stuff. You're one of a kind and there won't be anymore just like you. You stand out and stand on your own. Funny so do I. As best I can.
Just a thought, on managing difficult people.
See ya,
Jerilynn

Donald, I have been in sales and management for almost 40 years and there has been one single concept that has worked for me time after time..."always try to catch someone doing something right". When someone is being cooperative, we should praise it and promote the behavior. When someone is being difficult, ignore the obstinate behavior as much as possible. Isn't it true that most children misbehave just for the attention?

"The Specialist"
http://greatsales.wordpress.com

Sometimes you get thrown under the bus (labeled as combative)because people are just plain jealous and not as bright. It's especially detrimental when the envious person is your boss who has been the boss for a number of years. However, could it be that that particular person became "the boss," simply because he was a quick talker/used car salesman type? I think that sometimes managers weasel their way into being in charge, rather than getting there the right way. And, they do this by being sycophants and "yes" men. It's pretty dumb because eventually they will be leveled. So, that is always something to consider when one person is doing everything right, but, is considered a threat by his boss and the boss's minions.

I am an owner/manager of a property of Howard Johnson Hotels in Louisiana,and I have only been in business for 5 months.These entire 5 months, I have yet to see a trustworthy,reliable employee. My entire family - from me,the father, all the way to my second-youngest(he's ten;the youngest is 3) - have centered our entire lives,almost, to ensuring our hotel's success. However, the extreme lack of commitment and respect I see in my past and present employees is unbelievable.I have been through tens of front desk clerks, who knows how many housekeepers, and several managers. But none of them fit my criteria. Mr.Trump, how and where do I find good workers? I am willing to compromise a reasonable pay, but the productivity has to be worth it. I am tired of wasting all time,money,and energy trying to manage these people. Please, please help me. Good help is SO hard to find. -Steven H.

Dear Trump,

For many years i am thinking to follow a Management education.
Certainly i also want it to proof it in the real world.

Mine is problem is now that i am no talker!!!!!!!
What is necessary for me to give my self a skill to talk to people
and that they also listen to me.

First i want to follow a kitchen education by the institute of Paul Bocuse in Lyon
with some work experience. After that i want to follow a Management education.

Hopefully MR Trump you can give me some answers to mine questions.


Best regards
Patrick

Email:patrick.name@gmail.com

The message posted by member1324644 on 02/06/2007 6:15 PM is pure gold.