I Flirted on The Apprentice and I Survived

Office romance is a BIG NO, if things dont go as wished and sour, you will still need to be working with that person and to say that feelings will not get in the way is a false statement. Why try office romance when there a sooo many opportunities for romance everywhere else.

I see nothing smart, polished and or passionate about Tim trust me. He looked like a complete idiot and his friend there is no better. They both made fools out of themselves.

You had a little more class about the whole thing plus it was quite obvious you weren't really that interested.

I would even go so far as to say "your strategy worked." Keep it going that way we would like to stay awhile.

We just think that the boardroom should be for business. And we dont think it was just the flirtation that caused Tim to be fired. We thought the argument presented by Tim was weak and rambling.

The reason the team lost was a weak presentation and performance. And Tim lost focus in and out of the boardroom.

Sean,

As sappy as this is to say, you are honestly one of my role models when I think about what I would like to achieve and become in the business world. In this case, I could not agree with you less. There is a difference between you and Tim.

The main one is that while Tim was one of my favorites this season as well, he was actually disloyal to his team. He told Nicole before her first Kenetic boardroom what James was going to go after. When his team was inside bonding he was looking through a hedge at his sweetheart. You can't do that.

In real life I'm sure there are couples made up of people who work for competing companies, I know one couple that are two real estate agents that work for two different brokerages (that is an interesting dinner conversation to watch). But in the end, Tim was fired because he lost focus of what he was there to do. You and Tammy never lost focus about why you were on the show. IT WAS TO WIN

I will say this for Tim, his team pinned him as being a weak member of the team but in the task where they had to sell theme park tickets, he was stealing NICOLES customers. He wanted to win and he did everything he could. I personally think that James is weaker. He lets his team control him, then pretends that everything is all rosy and cheerful when they win (just like Surya). Need I remind everybody that on James first task as PM, it was Tim and Nicole who came up with the concept, who edited and who starred. By his own admission he just sat back and let them work because he didn't know what to do.

Sean is right but there's something he just forgot to add is that in such a hot environment of a job hunting where people elbow, as a player too you'd better not show up your weaknesses either emotional or physical or intellectual what unfortunately Tim did (emotional) and now he had to pay for it - just remember what Nicole's mum told her when she wanted to tell her about Tim. And by the way, I just remember what Mr. Trump said about Arrow, they like each other when they win but when they lose oh oh they just show their fangs ready to slander savagely each other...You know what I mean!

Ainrické Bo. Beothé

Whoa. So what you're saying is that we in the UK are far more tolerant of office romances?

I'm sure Sir Alan Sugar (the boss who runs The Apprentice over here) would beg to differ :)

Honestly Sean......

I don't think you should have won The Apprentice. I think you rode the coattails of your teammates who kept you out of the boardroom in an extremely weak season (like this one). Then you come out here babbling about how you managed to "flirt" your way through the process better than someone else.

Real top flight business skills we are learning here.

Sean,

Great aricle as well as advice. I guess some people are able to draw a line when it comes to personal/professional relationships. Looking back on the show, it seems like Mr. Trump like the idea of an Apprentice romance between Nicole and Tim when the information leaked out in the boardroom. This info probably boosted ratings. Tim clearly had the X on his back because James was in the board room the week before and heard the comments that were brought up about Tim's loyalty to his Arrow teammates. Up until this point, Tim was a strong performer and his team was winning. "Not so fast my friend," Lee Corso would say. I believe after Arrow loss to Kinetic on the Smart mouth task, Arrow was able to expose Tim as an expendable object.....rickyl

You are right about one thing, Sean: the risks for an office romance are different for a man than for a woman, especially if he outranks her. Office romances are frowned upon in general, but the men who engage in one are often tolerated so long as they remain successful. Women, however, tend to get a reputation as the "office slut", to be blunt. Also, if a woman engages in a romance and grows more successful or gets the better tasks, she is accused of "sleeping her way to the top." I'm going to write my own blog on this. It will appear on http://360.yahoo.com/airplane_country soon. I also have several other interesting blogs, so drop by and post some comments to let me know what you think.

It is always interesting to read these blogs, ans see people's reactions upon the original writings. In this case someone was even agitated by Sean and his "bragging". The value of blogs is that people write and comment on these, and looking back for about the two years I have been a member in TrumpU, it is obvious that many of these comments written by TrumpU staff here are made to raise more discussion!

And honestly said that is one of the values of the whole TrumpU. Learning through understanding the differences among people and cultures! Based upon my experience in different countries and cultures flirting in the work is generally some how accepted around the world when kept discreet. Anything too obvious or too deep (like falling madly in love!) usually leads to a disaster in the work - but might lead to change and happiness in the private life! As stated in quite a few comments, envy is one of the reasons causing the disaster. Thinking of the "seven deadly sins" it seems that we human have not changed much in the past century! We are still driven too much by our emotions and too little by our mind! Looking forward to see comments on this!

www.qits.fi

In a situation like the Apprentice, where you have two rather small teams, a romance between two team members sets up an "us vs them" mentality. In season 5, the romance started on a predominantly female team. As soon as the romance was established, the other female members of the team started to target you. When Donald asked for a volunteer to switch to the predominantly male team, you gladly went over. That is what saved you. However, Tammy was not so lucky- as soon as you went over to the men's team- she was targeted and sent home. The exact thing happened in season 6- the romance blossomed- and Tim and Nicole became a team within a team- in a team that had very tight bonds. The result was that when James had to chose someone to go over to Kinetic, he quickly narrowed it down to Tim or Nicole. Because they had isolated themselves, James was not as certain of their value- he had not experienced working directly with these team members as closely. As soon as Nicole left- the male members of Arrow started to target Tim. The situations on both seasons were identical- just with the sexes reversed- and with the same outcome for the member of the duo who matched the predominant gender of the team. Another difference in the seasons is that when it came time to split the teams- you volunteered to go- clearly putting the job interview ahead of the romance. Another difference was that the two teams were not physically separated in the residence on season 5- so it would not have been as much of a breach of team etiquette for the two of you to talk. In Arrow, anyone talking through the hedge was targeted. So part of the reason that you survived was your skill. part of the reason was the difference in environments, and part was that the social dynamics targeted Tammy after you left the team. After surviving, you clearly soared, and went on to victory. At the moment, it looks like Nicole is also doing well for her team. Is she strong enough to win? Guess we'll have to see.

Sean,

Great post. Marysrose's comment took away most of my argument because I was going to point out the exact same thing, so kudos to you.

Nevertheless, I could see you--Sean--being able to handle Tim's situation. Tim simply got too flustered when Frank challenged him about his relationship with Nicole. He was not able to calm the worries of where his loyalty lied. Instead of saying that his office romance is complicated, he should have said: yes, I care about her but I came to win which includes the team I am on winning. So Frank, Stefani, James; as long as we're on the same team my loyalty lies with you first.

You're more capable of thinking on your feet than Tim is. In the board room, how did he not bring up Frank's ability to get angry and throw a fit at the drop of a hat? Every one of the Apprentice winners are much more level headed than Frank and it should be used against him. Tim was able to get Nicole to like him but he is not charming. He was too timid (no pun intended) in his ability to get his teammates to trust him and currently just does not have the people skills to succeed in this process.

He would have been fired regardless of his office romance.

If Tim was fired because of his romance with Nicole, then why wasn't Nicole fired for her romance with Tim? I have to agree that if you're on the winning end, you do have an advantage, yet it's a temporary one. Had Tim stuck around another week and Nicole had been on the losing end, she may have been fired for the romance.

Then again, Nicole was on an all-female team that had much more sympathy for Nicole's plight, and Nicole brilliantly involved them in coming to her aid and defense in their relational spats. She had the girls siding with her and working for her. Tim could never had employed that strategy. Guys don't relate that way. I'm not saying it was a strategy on Nicole's part because she doesn't seem to be astute enough to to think of her emotional reaction as a strategy. She was just being female. Had Nicole been on a mixed-gender team, she might not have let on as she openly did in the all-women team. Her chiming "Isn't that cute" about Tim's love notes wouldn't have gone over the same with men in the room. So I don't believe that winning is everything, but Tim might have fared better if his team had won that task.

The stereotype seems true that men are task oriented and women are relational oriented. Because Tim didn't focus on the task, he was punished. Nicole, on the other hand, lived up to her stereotype, so she went unpunished. It worked to her advantage in this case to be in a romantic relationship. In fact, I'll go as far as to say that this relationship has gotten her as far as she has on this show. I never could have imagined that she would be in the top 4. It has me questioning whether there were really over 1 million candidates that applied or that the employment applications had any real credibility.

I wouldn't say that office romance is a "BIG NO." I don't think you should use your employer as a match.com, but plenty of successful marriages have started at work. I would say rather that you should tread very carefully when dealing with an office romance. It's something that should be taken very slowly. The goal should not be dating or even sex, but it should be a relationship, and the best ones start with friendship. Use the friendship period to determine if there is a potential for longevity. Hot and steamy attractions are never the ones that last. So if that's what it is, then pass on it. Wait for the sure thing. One-night stands and short-term affairs are the romances to be avoided.

After tonight (4/8/07) I'm not sure I'll watch the rest of the season. I believe Donald let go two of the best contenders. He's left with the four weakest, whiniest, weasley applicants. Frank is obnoxious and is a kiss-ass to D.T., Donald thinks he is a fighter, but he's all laughs and smiles and jokes during the tasks. I don't see him fighting to win the task. He seems to slack off more than anything. I wouldn't want that cocky prick anywhere near my company, not even to sell me something. The fact that he HAS to fight his way out of being fired is not an advantage. He shouldn't be in the position to have to defend himself in the first place. And hasn't Donald noticed that all the candidates fight for the job in the boardroom when they are seconds from being fired? There is nothing special or redeeming about that!

I would be interested to see how Ivanka and Donald Jr would do as candidates. They'd probably be fired early on for some of the same reasons and the other candidates before them. There is nothing new under the sun.

All of the candidates that have won have seemed to have skated by on the efforts of the PM and let the PM take the fall. The strategy seems to be to stay in the game the longest and do that by not drawing any attention to yourself. This "play-it-safe" mentality that is rampant in all seasons is not conducive to allowing the best man to win. Rather

My aunt said it best when I was first starting out in the work place. NEVER date anyone you work directly with or at your work place. There are billions of people on this planet to choose from, NEVER get involved with someone you work with. I would say "but..." and she would always reply "NEVER!". And as I watched people in office romances over the years and now on The Apprentice - her advice holds so true - NEVER get romantically involved with anyone at your work place.

There's nothing wrong with office romance as long as the romance is done outside of work/work-hours. IMO, all feelings/flirtations should be done outside of the office walls.

BTW, what I like to see is an all-stars Apprentice. :-)

Well - Sean - Your absolutely gorgeous and women must fall at your feet. However, you were very professional and indeed carried yourself very well throughout the process. You deserved to win.

I liked Nicole and Tim (by the way I haven't really seen the episodes) Im in UK - just followed it off the net! When you see them together now, it makes me smile. They are lovely couple - quite dynamic, but she talks the hind legs off a donkey and I think Tim suits her!

It is still a success story - they took their chance and for them it worked - but to BE The Apprentice, took quite a different character - and in that respect it did not work!

Im not sure what I believe in office romance - what happens if you are meeting clients and there is a strong chemistry - is that a 'no no' also- with the job you do, you work v.hard and long hours - it can be problematic! It can be difficult to meet someone outside your area of work who fits a lifestyle you are use to. We are all human - I guess the emphasis lies on the very points you made Sean... unjust maybe - but true!

Im not sure if I could keep my eyes off you - your quite delightful to look at - (dear me Im flirting) no- I would be very respectful indeed! ;-)

Wow this one covers a lot of ground. I think this is really too broad to fully cover in one neat little blog entry.

I believe there is harmless flirting and there is serious flirting. The effect of harmless flirting is like a compliment. It helps people feel good. It isn't meant ot go anywhere, but you better know somebody pretty well before you engage. Serious flirting has no place during business hours or in the building.

I've known people who had office affairs that didn't create an issue. For example, in many universities, both partners are faculty members. They are discreet. They hold equal positions of power, or they are in different offices or departments. They don't allow the relationship to interfere with work. They don't use the relationship in power plays. But, I think this can be dangerous ground. Other people often resent these relationships.

The decision to work with someone with which you have a romantic relationship, boils down to the real question - Can you get along in a professional manner without major conflict and without causing others to feel uncomfortable? Also, what is your company policy? I remember in my first production job, just out of high school, I witnessed a husband being beaten with a broom by his wife who was screaming. Apparently, they had a fight before work, and she wasn't finished yet. Following that incident, the company changed the rules. No relatives or spouses in the same department.

Mr Yazbeck,
Your observation regarding the difference in cultures, and what is or isn't acceptable male/female interaction, is vital to survival as you move from organization to organization or location to location. The culture of each facility is unique as are different regions of the country - and definitely the world. Different industries also vary in what is acceptable and what is taboo. I guess the best advice a salesperson can share is "Know your territory" Beyond flirting, this applies to what jobs are OK to assign to which employees.