Ideas and Opinions from Donald Trump and TrumpU Faculty.
Moms Not Working
For years, career women have heard that it’s fine for them to quit their jobs in order to become stay-at-home moms. They’re told that it’s the best thing for their children and eventually they can make their way back into the workforce when their kids get old enough.
But a new book - called The Feminine Mistake - disagrees with all that. The author, Leslie Bennetts, says that women should not quit their jobs when they have children. The theory is that if women depend on their spouses, it could have serious economic consequences.
What if the husband gets sick or, worse, dies? What if he loses his job? What if the couple divorces?
On top of all that, it’s often difficult for women to return to the workforce after being gone for a few years. Unfortunately, factors such as ageism, sexism and even resentment come into play. Taking three years off can mean earning one-third less than someone who didn’t leave her career.
Are you a better mother if you don’t work? That’s a question only you can answer. But, women, make sure you’re aware of the consequences if you decide to quit your job. I’m not sure I totally agree with Ms. Bennetts because every situation is different, of course, but I think she brings up some valid concerns.
Just because you’re a great career woman doesn’t mean you can’t be a great mom.
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45 Comments
A great insight! But daycare is crucial in the equation.
to build a family nest and to maintain it as a harmonious one,
as Bible said, is time for everything: to build a home, to laugh to..
dedicate the life to the childrens is great, sometimes I feel that I*ve missed important time with my son, but otherwise childrens grow up you did*t realize when they start they*re own family and let them go, really, is not funny to did*t acre before your life maintain the right balance, as husband childrens and many other factors are involved,
let me tell you a secret, is not easy to be woman in our modern society and mother but is great and wonderfull when the family have a good foundation to build further on, hmm, that that exception of 1/1.000.000
can tell surelly that have succeed , as we look at statistics generally spoken.
Mom*s are work ing, more jobs in once daily..may I say that education clean cook shop but at first the proffession, you have right, the right balance and priority*s to be covered no matter what kind of event may
surprise us and change our lifes ..one minut or a hpour or a day can change everything; present! and have a good day!
Daniela
Oh, the perils of motherhood! It's just never easy when you are a mom. I know from first hand experience that no matter what choice a mom makes she will feel that she is giving up something, or feel guilty (of something!). It would be great if the job of "Mom" was considered to be a valuable and respected occupation, and one could hop back into the job market after spending time raising your kids. I am a single parent, and after years of my career not really working with my job as a mom - started my own business called All Moms Go To Heaven - just because of this type of mommy quandry. We moms all deserve a little more appreciation both at home and in our society!
Clearly times have changed and with time, some cultures have become more accepting of this social model, while others still believe the traditional role model for a mother and wife is to stay home. One has to ask, is this a real traditional role model for a wife and model?
Ancient history, and I'm referring to Old Testament Biblical history defines a good woman as being one who is industrious, out buying and selling in the markets while her husband works in the fields. Certainly, this role model is not a stay at home mom. I will not go as far as to say what a married woman should or should not do pertaining to this subject. It's a personal decision. I will say this, today in America, over half the women over the age of 50 are single, and 75% of the women age 65 or older are broke and living on social assistance. No matter what your marital status is, a women must develop thier own personal financial portfolio that will carry them through thier retirement years. Women should discuss this with thier husbands before they marry and insist on identifing or developing a workplace skill in the event thier husband passes away due to an untimely death, or as in the case of 50% of marriages, including my own, a divorce leaves a woman forced into entering the work force as a single mother.
Sadly, husbands have often held thier wives back by not encouraging thier wives to develop the financial skills and means to stand on thier own two feet. Men, if you are genuinely concerned for your wife's well being in the event of your untimely death, then don't, in arrogance, think you can set enough money aside for her. Some can...most cannot. We'd do our wives and women in general a greater favor by learning how to empower them to be all they can be. What we as men can set aside for our wives financially, should be seen as a cushion to help our wives through an adjustment period.
There is nothing more incredible than a woman who is fully empowered.
James C. Tanner
www.silent-wonder.com
Early in life, think to work and to someday, somehow create a million dollars for yourself. Don't let anything hinder or keep you from this goal. If you succeed, you're the one to make any female the happiest person in the world.
So many social problems would be curtailed if more guys had attitudes like this.
Kitty
As a working mom who not only runs the house, but is the head of house financially, it's not easy being a modern woman. As Mom and HOH, it's important to find the best programs for my school-age and pre-K children. It's also important to dedicate solid time to my family and "marriage time" with my husband, plus time for my community and faith. It's a delicate balance, but what a reward!
As so many articles tend to scorn the working Mom, it is nice to read a post that encourages Moms to continue working. It takes all kinds to keep the world running and I choose to keep the delicate balance of career and family. Thank you Mr. Trump!
Most women do work, so not many women enjoy the stay-at-home mom status.
April '07 reports from the Bureau Labor Statistics
http://stats.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.t06.htm
The Benifits to Corporate America:
In the corporate world women are also paid less than their male counterparts, (the advantage of hiring a woman, can out compete a male counterpart on cost) .
Although that is not true, for instance the Marrel Lynch suit, a study suggested that they are paid less not because of performance, yet because they are more likely to leave the company to care for children, so their is no incentive to pay a competitive wage, if the women will end up quitting regardless of salary, then why pay them, and when they want to return, the position will be filled, so they are more likely to join another company, a competitor in the market, this prevents women from enjoying promotions.
The book highlights that women should be responsible for their retirement. Especially considering the high divorce rates in the United States, it also mentioned that women live longer, and if they do stay married they can not depend to live only on their husbands retirement.
A married woman’s salary places her income in a higher tax bracket, so she has a choice to file separately instead of jointly, yet if she files separately then she will not have the SSI benefits from her husband later in life, so it is an incentive to not work, because if she files jointly then she is taxed on the majority of her income, although business women see this as an incentive to not get married.
The main issue with women is that their isn’t political nor venture support. Day care is very expensive, yet they state it is because of the quality of care, if women want cheaper prices then the quality of care for the child would go down. A political response would be to add a program for "Pre-preschool" to current school's, for little ones from age 2-4, but the government doesn’t want this cost. They don’t understand the importance of this type of funding because more than likely they had stay at home wives, and are unconcerned with the single mothers that work to care for their little ones.
I am not to worried about the situation, especially with this years steak for mergers and acquisitions, eventually someone will get a "bright idea" to acquire this type of venture and profit from adding a child care program as incentive package to individuals that are extremely qualified, yet wouldn’t mind a cut in salary in order to have their child care by the company. The company can prosper by reduction in cost of the employee’s salary and by the actual profits from the facility.
(It might sound ruthless in my opinion to make money from the situation, but as a woman if I had a choice to work for company A that didnt provide child care and company B that did provide child care, then I would choose company B, because it is a benifit to myself, the basic principle of economics.)
I dont have kids, but if I did, I would want to take care of them,
yet I do get board if I am not making money.
I will think about this more, thanks for the though.
Case in point -- I have a friend who has two children. She is married, but the relationship has been on shaky grounds from day one. She allowed herself to quit working due to the fact that she could not count on anyone to watch her children, including her own husband. She had to depend on him for money to pay the bills, buy groceries, run a house, and take care of the kids. While the money was good at some points, she did not think along the lines of, "what would happen if we come to blows again?" Which is exactly what happend. She found love and companionship from someone she met online, then later invited him to her home (when the husband was not there and the kids were in school). To make a long story short, she and her husband did come to blows again. And although she's completed divorce papers, she cannot file them until she has money to do so.
She did not decide to get a paying job until last December just before the kids were out on winter break. But the point is, being a stay-at-home mom has its ramifications. And ultimate consequences that break the economic boundaries if women are not prepared for situations that they are confronted with. I have worked everyday since 1987, before and after marriage. I was prepared each time the need to leave home became apparent. Meaning, I had a plan A, B, C and all the alphabets that came after it.
This blog reminds me of a project I was working on at one time based on a similar scenario, but it was telling women that, "there is life after marriage."
When my children were alive, I managed a career. In hindsight, I would've liked to have spent more time with them (though had I stopped working we might've been homeless). I was one of those mothers that simply did not have the option of "not working".
It's true, perhaps I should've planned better, had my kids later, or maybe even had kids without disabilities. I didn't, they didn't and it wasn't. Now let's add to the mix daycare.... not just the cost, but the fact that not all daycare providers are created equally.
All good points, but I think the most critical issue here is as others have posted, family planning. Not just financial planning, but early intervention and education to prevent teen pregnancy. Parenting classes should be a prerequisite to Lamaz (spelling?) classes, and I'm not talking about what to do when your baby cries, but how parents will handle time off from work for school conferences, and also how 12 years in advance parents are going to keep that child away from gangs, drugs, etc.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying mothers should or should not work. Mr. Trump makes an excellent point, that everyone is an individual and has individual circumstances. In my case, I had to work, and the deaths of my children would've happened if I had been working or not -- only difference being that we would've had more time to enjoy each other had I not been working.
Collateral issue: Business is not to be left away for 6-12 month during pregnancy – you have only 10% chances to go back to a similar position in the former company.
Workaround: Some high paid cinema stars adopt children from poor countries
Solution: The future of pregnancy will belong to incubators. Surrogate mothers will double their usual incomes by giving birth to children that belongs genetically 99% to other families. The countries that will develop these genetic technologies will become first "tourist" destinations.
I have to do the family planning for myself and for my daughter solely based on how the economy seems to crash year after year, and jobs that pay good money are so far in between because you can't get them unless your draped with a piece of paper that says you're highly qualified.
As much as I would love to be home with my daughter on a regular basis, I know better. Some of these women need to wake up and get a clue. Unless they "got it like that" where staying at home is an option and they are able to put aside a "nest egg" for a rainy day, then by all means go for it, but don't do it blindly. No one is invincible. And things do happen that can alter any situation, no matter how good it may be at home.
AS A STAY AT HOME MOM MYSELF I,OF COURSE, HAVE A DIFFERENT VIEW.
ALTHOUGH IT IS A BIG STEP TO LEAVE THE WORKFORCE FOR AWHILE-I THINK IT IS AN EVEN BIGGER STEP WHEN YOU DECIDED TO HAVE CHILDREN.
KIDS DO NOT RAISE THEMSELVES-AS WE ALL KNOW. THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS OUT THERE: STAY AT HOME MOM,DAYCARE,LEAVE WITH A FRIEND,GRANDPARENT BABYSITTING---DEPENDING ON WHAT IS AVAILABLE TO YOU.
IT'S FUNNY HOW WITH SOOO MANY OPTIONS-THE ONE THAT IS LOOKED DOWN UPON IS THE STAY AT HOME MOMS. I HAVE ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY"OH, WELL I COULD NEVER "AFFORD" THAT OPTION" OR "OH WELL ISN'T THAT NICE" WITH SNOOTY SARCASM IN THEIR VOICE.
OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS I HAVE BEEN OFF-JUST HAD MY SECOND 9 WEEKS AGO-I HAVE FOUND ONE THING CONSTANT---JEALOUSY.
THE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT HAD KIDS AND "HAD" TO GO BACK TO WORK TEND TO TRY TO OOK DOWN ON YOU AND MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR NOT WORKING-WHEN IN FACT THEY ARE UPSET THAT THEY NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO THEMSELVES.
I-MYSELF-BUST MY BUTT BEING AT HOME WITH MY KIDS. NO SOAP OPERA CRAP HERE! I COOK,CLEAN,RENO,SHOP FOR GROCERIES,LAUNDRY ON TOP OF RAISING TWO KIDS. I GET TO SHOW MY KIDS LOTS OF LOVE AND ATTENTION AND TEACH THEM THINGS RIGHT FROM EARLY ON. YOU CAN BET THAT IN DAYCARE THEY DONT GET THE TIME OR ATTENTION THAT THEY NEED AS A GROWING,LEARNING INDIVIDUAL. MY ELDEST ISN'T EVEN 2 YET AND HE KNOWS HIS MANNERS AND ALWAYS SAYS PLEASE AMD THANKYOUS---SHOW ME A DAYCARE THAT DOES THAT?!
AND YES-WE MAY BE ABLE TO SWING ME BEING ABLE TO AFFORD TO STAY HOME---BUT WITH MY HUSBAND AND I WITH HARD WORK AND PLANNING. WE DONT SPEND MONEY ON STUPID THINGS AND KNOW HOW TO STRETCH A DOLLAR-WITHOUT COUPON CLIPPING!!!
WHEN YOU DECIDE TO START A FAMILY-YOU SHOULD BE RESPOSIBLE ENOUGH TO TAKE ACTION TO DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO IN ORDER TO MAKE THE BEST POSSIBLE DECISIONS CONCERNING YOU KIDS. WE WORK VERY HARD AND ARE SOOO VERY PROUD OF OUR LITTLE FAMILY.
DONT GET ME WRONG-I,LIKE OTHER STAY AT HOME MOMS-HAVE DAYS WHERE WE MISS WORKING AND GETTING A PAYCHECK EVERY TWO WEEKS. BUT "MY JOB" IS BEING A MOM RIGHT NOW--AND I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER ONE!!!
THE EARLY YEARS ARE THE BIGGEST YEARS FOR A CHILD IN TERMS OF DEVELOPMENT. IF A CHILD SPENDS HIS/HER TIME IN DAYCARES ETC.... NOT GETTING THE LOVE AND ATTENTION THEY NEED---IT CAN AND WILL AFFECT THEM IN LATER YEARS----I AM LIVING PROOF OF THAT!
THEY ARE OUR FUTURE!
DONT YOU EVER NOTICE THAT NOW A DAYS PEOPLE ARE NOT SO FRIENDLY TO EACHOTHER? NO MANNERS, NO COURTESY AND EVERYONE OUT FOR THEM SELVES???I SURE DO AND IT MAKES ME WONDER HOW THEY WERE RAISED. IS THIS THE TYPE OF SO CALLED SOCIETY THAT WE WANT TO LIVE IN???
A STAY AT HOMES MOM IS A HARD ONE-ANYONE WHO DOUBTS THAT-WELL I WISH YOU COULD SWAP PLACES WITH ONE FOR A FEW DAYS-IT WOULD CERTAINLY GIVE YOU A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
I GIVE CREDIT TO THE HARDWORKERS OUT THERE---BUT GUYS-HOW BOUT SOME CREDIT TO THE MOMS? WE DESERVE IT. OUR PAYCHECK IS WATCHING OUR KIDS GROW AND LEARN---PRECIOUS MOMENTS YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK WHEN THEY'RE IN DAYCARE 'CAUSE SOMEONE ELSE WILL SEE THOSE MOMENTS.
SO THE NEXT TIME YOU GO TO KNOCK DOWN SOMEONE FOR BEING A "STAY AT HOME" MOM---CHECK YOURSELF.
RESPECT YOURSELF FOR THE JOB YOU DO AND RESPECT THEM FOR DOING THEIRS. AND FOR ALL THOSE MOMMIES OUT THERE THAT ARE DOING WHAT I DO----
KEEP GIVIN' 'ER LADIES AND "GOOD JOB!"
A lot of people (irregardless of male or female) tend to think of a perfect scenario... They thought that they can do this later, after they are done with that a few years later...
In the case of mums... For those working mums who quitted their jobs because of their children, they thought that by accompanying with their children in their growing stage they will be able to produce bright children... I totally agree with their thoughts...
But for those who are thinking of going back to work after their children have grown up, I think they might face a little problem there... Mums and children have probably grew accustomed to be with each other for a long time... After mums started work, the child might be left alone out of sudden... And the child might felt loss and uneasy... Probably might even cause a worse scenario... producing a bad child in the end...
Probably a solution to this is something like this... If you wish to carry on working after having a child, please carry on working while adopting a time management between your family and career... Or else, simply stop your career and be a mummy at home...
I think that most of the countries (at least in Singapore, not sure if it's the same in US), they protect the interest of the women in the case of divorce... They have something like Woman's Charter (not sure) or what to protect their interest in their lives... Hence, I guess it's not really about having some money to protect herself or not...
Charles
Singapore
My Blog: http://charlesbizlessons.blogspot.com
My Biz: http://www.d3express.com.sg
With out even reading your blog I have seen the tittle of the book.
To mention that books name is a PR mistake
yours sincerely,
Leo Mumford.
www.leofilms.co.uk
- A Dad that has the pleasure to be married to a stay-at-home-MOM!
Dean
Congrats. I hope your companies are modern enough to make adjustments and arrangements for their new mother staff to be able to work from home so that they can manage to balance both roles adequately. For heaven's sake this is the computer age and many jobs can be done through the internet from any location. Many major companies have made arrangements for both flexi hours and working from home. This can often mean that the wife can go to work once the husband comes home and takes over child care duties, or for someone else to do so, or she can work from home as and when she can.
Surely American companies are adopting this way in the USA? I am speaking from Bangalore,India where many companies have adopted this practice........
PersonalIy, I love having room for everything!
I own 4 businesses, have a part time job for the travel bennies and insurance, I have 2 teenagers, married to an amazing man and manage the largest women's business organization in Southern Oregon.
Sure my kids are bigger now and require no daycare, but they have had it in the past, and I also stayed home. A bit of everything.
I love being available to do it all, and we all, men and women, have to make choices now and then. But it's not so cut and dry for who can do what and when. Our different circumstances make it where daycare costs are a factor for one of us, but not for another. It's all relative baby!
I am just happy we are in a day and age where men & woman can be at home with the family, run one or more businesses from home, whatever you chose. Reach for the stars darlin! That's how we go up!
I am a home based business working Mom who has had to overcome many obstacles while taking small steps these past couple years to profitably succeed at a very unique and interesting opportunity I stumbled upon two years ago. I have done my homework and have diligently studied, researched and learned as much as I could to become knowledged and proficient in my business providing unique "financial services for the greater good". I have the world of opportunity in the palms of my hands and at the tips of my fingers, yet due to the financial stress, strain and hardships of being a single mom struggling to become self sufficient, I have not yet been able to touch the profitable end in the business sector of my venture. I have made some EYE OPENING DISCOVERIES in my investigative research in the business sector and would like to know the best way to break the barriers that are currently holding me back from TREMENDOUS PROFIT POTENTIAL. I am in need of a serious business coach in which I am willing to sign fee agreements for consultation advise and/or investor possibilities. I know you have many associates on staff, however, due to the financial nature of what I am dealing with, YOU WOULD BE THE BEST CONSULT I COULD POSSIBLE RETAIN TO ENSURE IMMEDIATE PROFITABLE AND SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS. Should you get the opportunity to view this comment and are interested in helping me to help others by PUTTING MONEY BACK INTO AMERICA with my services, I would be honored. Colleen P. Beaudoin
This only works if you are able to pay for "mom-replacement" and aware that this has to be done
This is a career suggestion for the stay at home moms that are into a real estate career.
There are basically two ways to go in a real estate career; selling real estate or doing loans. As a realtor they would have to spend a lot of time running around town farming for listings or showing potential home buyers houses for sale. However as a loan officer most of the work can be done with phone calls, a computer and a fax machine. Some of the most successful loan officers I know work entirely out of their home. They only go to the office maybe once a week to pick up signed pappers and their checks!
Two peas in a pod!
It's simply a choice.
http://www.DenmarkFrancisco.com/Stay_Home.html
Advantages (parental care)
1. Children are more familiar to their parental relationship.
2. When caring for more than one child, parents may create a "competitive situation" for their children in positive sense.
3. By extending the number of "caring mothers", the mothers may share their experience to each other in order to perform the best for caring their children
4. Good parents can share good experiences to their children.
5. Kindergarten can provide very organized life to children.
6. Children feel safe in presence of their parents.
7. Parents avoid the situation of hiring other people for caring their children.
Disadvantages (parental care)
1. Children by an intensified mother care may "copy" habits of their parents in very high extend, instead of creating an independent character.
2. Caring for too many children is taking too much time for mothers and they get boring to that.
3. Bad habits of some unsuccessful parents can be transmitted to their children.
4. Sometimes parents are very young and don’t know how to care about their children, in this case qualified babysitters cane make it better.
5. Kindergarten habits learned can lead to situation of ‘very socialized’ or ‘artificial’ children.
6. In worsen situation, the unsafe parents can damage the children.
7. Mothers by staying at home can have negative financial and career impact.
Regards
Driton
I want to apologize for being bent out of shape from my comment about my mother not being in The Blog of 5/15/07. It may not have been well written. Her day as a housewife has long gone. We have different problems now with escalating costs. I am sorry that I thought it may be cause of a possible lawsuit. I'm sure that people who would end up with the money, have the money. Family will be fine.
I am just starting over, making my share of mistakes, this being one. I am so sorry. I'll find a partner. I can use the barter system to get help.
I can do this. Again I am sorry. I hope that this is tactful for everyone that reads. Tell Meredith I will succeed and will be in New York with a present some day. I won't forget.
Kathy Hamblin
I wanted to make sure you got my apology. I wrote it on last weeks Blog under Moms Not Working. I was hurt that my comment didn't get put in. Maybe it wasn't written well. You had accepted it. She was a special lady, as you read. She didn't want to live blind was her reason to die. Mom's day has long gone. We have different problems now with escalating costs. Women must work somehow, an Internet business, stuffing envelopes with the help of their kids. I was looking for reasons we were omitted and mentioned a lawsuit. I am sure that has been settled without me.
I am just starting over, making my share of mistakes, this being one. I hope this is tactful for all who read. I hope all can work together. I will find a partner and help using the barter system. Again I apologize. Don't write anything nasty about me in one of your books. Please. Please. Please. I'm just kidding. I write comedy. My gift in barter for help from someone will be more sophisticated. I promise.
Kathy Hamblin
While I don't have any opinions as to whether or not a woman should quit her job to raise her children, like the Donald said, this is something that depends on each individual situation which is why I disagree with book.
For starters, the author puts forth a theory. Unfortunately theories are very popular but most of them tend to be very static, and fail to take in to account the unique dynamics of each situation. Theories tend to generalize as oppossed to observe patterns and meta-patterns and utilize the usefulness of what is observed and what can be calculated thereof.
In short, I believe a mother should be there with her child as much as she can, and I disagree with the author.
What a wonderfully controversial topic, and love the title of the book! I think this issue NEEDS to be discussed, as we sadly still live in a sexist world and women need to be reminded that it's OK for them to be working mothers. Plus, it's an expensive world! I agree with the premise of the book where the woman has a career that would be hurt by taking time off, but that is not always the case. Of course, each family should make their own decision based on economics and overall needs of the family. I've known a few families where the father has stayed home with young children because the mother made more money. We've come a long way, but your blog is one of many examples that we still have a long way to go. Having children is never easy, but always worth it! Thank you for bringing this up Mr. Trump! - Linda
Research the stats and get informed, but when it comes to making the decision of working or staying at home, don't ask "Dr. So & So" or "Mr. Such & Such". They don't know you. Go to someone you trust and who knows you and your family really well. They will be able to help you the most.
Sincerely,
Reanee' M. Temple
After that layoff, I was in the same boat as the women who chose family over career looking at 1/3 paycut.
It's business, it's not personal and I get really antsy with women who take it personal. Yes there is still discrimination, but if you stand your ground and do as I have by learning how to negotiate salary, you will find you will match the male counterpart's salary.
I believe that women have a harder time at negotiating and asking for the higher salaries because of the way culture and society told us "Nice Girls Don't ____"fill in the blank".
A couple of additional questions that might be considered prior to quitting your job to raise children:
- If Mom quits her job, can you afford to purchase adequate life insurance? If you can not afford to pay for life insurance as a stay at home Mom, it's probably not a good idea to restrict your income, for both you and your children's sake.
- Can you also afford to contribute to an IRA for both Mom and Dad while she's not working? Many people discuss the ramifications of diminishing Mom's potential for Social Security benefits when she quits her job. However, the general consensus seems to be that Social Security won't be around much longer anyway. So while Dad is working, and may still be in the running for Social Security if it's still around. What if it's not around, and you don't have any retirement savings between the two of you? Both parents must have IRA's for appropriate future planning. If you can not afford to save into your IRA, it may not be a good idea for Mom to quit working.
Just some things to think about.
If after leaving, you aren't able to return to a similarly challenging position, start your own business. I think parenting is our most important position. If we have strong families, we have a stronger nation.