Women Angry At Work

Sure we all get angry, its natural but when losing our temper it shows a complete lack of self-control and can be damaging to your status as a leader. If you do need to lose your temper don't do it in front of everyone. In my personal experience and others that I have spoken to have found it to be ineffective and more damaging to the situation than trying to fix it.

Mr. Trump,
Very interesting study and findings. Findings depend on mostly on the choice of demography, context, questionnaire and many other parameters.

I agree with what you believe in. Anger is not good at all. If people are happy and in agreement, they don't get angry, whether they are men or women.

Rajesh Shakya
http://www.rajeshshakya.com
Helping technopreneurs to excel and lead their life!

Anger is a normal human emotion! All humans have it at some point or another. The awful thing is that our society is repressing us into believing that anger is BAD. Anger is not a bad emotion, nor is it "negative". It is meant to cue ourselves that change needs to occur. It is our internal motivator to take immediate action to find our way to a more peaceful existence. By repressing our anger, we not only destroy ourselves emotionally, but we don't know how to handle it when it bubbles up out of our control. The critical factor is to learn how to use our own anger as a constructive motivator for our lives. Our society has us so messed up we don't know what's good about anger any more. Anger is a CONSTRUCTIVE motivator when used properly!

Some how when I read the titles of these blogs, I get a feeling for which ones Mr. Trump is going to address, this was one of them: Angry women...I

am so glad to see this study. I am a teacher by profession. I have seen and heard male teachers yell at their class or individuas, and cuss about something or sternly reprimand their students when the students have gotten out of line in a classroom. On the other hand, I have experienced the female lash-back when I have had to resort to the same "get it in gear, or there will be consequences" mode of operation in the classroom. ( I have taught junior high and high students in "at-risk" schools for nearly 15 years.)

Not understanding the difference, the male teachers ask me why I get guff back from students, parents and some principals because for doing the same as male counterparts who admit that they have said and done much worse in their leaning environments to get the students' attention or motivate students to behave in accordance with what classroom behavior should be.

I simply tell them, it's the difference of the sexes, a double standard, so to speak. It generally shows that it is still a man's world. They too are surprised at my observations, but once I pointed out my observation, we come to see this a true. So now, I try to find a man to come in my room and talk to students, or ask a male principal to deal with parents who do not respond to female authority figures.

I may copy this article to simply hand out when I am called on the carpet for doing what is normal for situations that call for anger. And hope that whoever puts me in my place because I am a woman realize that they are being sexist.

Thank you Mr. Trump for blogging on the subtle things that matter.

Gw8 Confucius II,

Personally a well put together angry woman who expresses it to me can be HOT! Personal oddities aside, regardless of the gender, anger lets out energy reminding the person reacting that they’re not dead yet. This approach is better than dealing with bent up feelings of aggression, if you catch my drift. Heck, I talked with Phil the other day, granted we’re referring to a man here, and he threw everything at me but the kitchen sink. Naturally our conversation was the grand finale of a power packed Trump U obstacle course, and Phil was only role playing, but I just wanted to hug him and say, "It’ll be okay big guy." Nevertheless, Phil proved he loves his team at Trump U. And yes, the team put me through the most polite meat grinder wake up call of my life. A thank you, a what-what, and many shout outs to the daily smelling salt crew of Michael, Brad, & Jason; plus the exit interview hammer- Phil, and one stellar personal coaching session from Steve Goff. (See Steve, I keep my word?)

I have couple zingers, uh I mean quotes for you pseudo tough guy, so laughing can ensue while you chi-get-y check yo-self. First off, how about reading this beauty from Zuo Quining, "I do not bully the weak, nor do I fear the powerful." And I personally like this Chinese proverb, and it goes like this, "A friend who truly knows you is always with you." One recommendation for you, give a listen to a favorite local Minnesota band American Head Charge, the album is called "The War of Art." ?

Oh yeah, where and when were you planning on getting me drunk to observe my nature? (Just curious) And to finish out the game, you can keep your gold, and Mother Earth has your instructions my friend. Oh Mrs. Trump, can Donald come out and play? I tire of playing blind hide and seek stratego, and besides Lu Xuoxun once said, "Prompt decision often succeeds, hesitation often fails."

Integrity Always,

II Fuconcius

Very interesting findings, Mr. Trump. In this issue we have three dimensions of the matter: Men, Women and Anger. Anger is an kind of stress manifested in negative approach toward other people, rather saying verbal or non-verbal reaction in negative sense over a matter from person/s to person/s. Anger many times is not a good choice for expressing out a issue or problem.
I do think that anger is not very much a "gender" issue, rather human reaction.
Anger is caused mostly because of these reasons:
1. When someone is afraid, shows anger;
2. When somebody is trying to impose his/hers opinion to other people;
3. When there is lack of communication (poor communication);
4. When the other party don’t listen or is not obeying to the rules;
5. Anger is an act of revenge.
A very important is the fact upon "how we do manage the anger". If we do achieve to manage the anger in positive direction, it may produce positive outcomes. But showing anger utterly in difficult situation may produce negative effects.
My general opinion over the anger is that: Anger must be always based in reasons, or rather saying it must be proved the reasons for doing it, and otherwise it is irresolute attitude of the people who do it/if often.

Best regards
Driton

I can understand if a woman angry at work! Because when a woman stress with her job then she will be more easy to get angry. This is a reflect of her overwhelmed. A woman should prevent from stress. In reality I found, many women are do everything by herself, because people not happy to support an overwhelmed women. This is a mistake of people! Actually, people should understand when a woman angry at work because she is get overwhelmed. Someone should ask her for outing and listen to her. And the person is not necessary to solve her problem. Just listen to her! Definitely, she will be relax soon and much better with her emotion.

Unfortunately this is the double standard at work. Men can yell- and men can be in charge. Women on the other hand are supposed to say "Pretty please and may I?" and at all times, follow.

As a woman, at times like this I'm reminded of how recently I received a slap on the wrist for yelling at some coworkers. Because a slap on the wrist was all that was worth and screaming at them was a necessary part of setting boundaries and impressing upon the coworkers in question in no uncertain terms what amounts to offensive behavior will not be tolerated. I'm not sorry for what I did- I'm just sorry I had to resort to yelling and screaming just to be heard. Life is hard.

The floor is all mine now and I hope all ears are listening.
The reason I blog about women in business is to create awareness for women about communicating with men in business.
Rather than expecting men to understand and accept women who get angry on the job, I advise women to understand how a man's mind works instead and how to control all emotions and communicate effectively with a man in business.
Never show your emotions. Like court, there should be no emotion in a workplace, as it will be used against you.
Men think that an angry woman is crazy, has pms, hasn't gotten laid in awhile and especially is overreacting.
Men don't like being around an angry woman because it makes them very uncomfortable.
His natural defense mechanisms start to rise and he naturally feels combative, but he knows he can't make you cry and he can't hit you , so he really doesn't know what to do about this, when you are 'in his face'.
Men in business will try to "OFF" the problem to other guys to handle it because men hate dealing with it, mostly because women go on and on and they detest badgering more than a bullet to the head.
They want to avoid it at all costs.
Angry women are ****es in a man's mind.
Keep absolutely calm and stick to only one grievance and discuss it in plain language in even monotone.
Never threaten to kick someone's ass, and especially don't raise your voice to be heard, don't swear like a truck driver and also don't burst out in tears. Don't run out of the room, throw things, nor slam things in the office, including doors.
Sometimes it is better altogether to sleep on it and do and say nothing.
Theres alot of crap out there dealing in the business world.
Whoever told women it would be easy and that they would be treated fairly and equally was lying. Men and women in business are different.
Keep your dignity at all costs.

Leesa Kaczmarzyk
The floor is all mine now and I hope all ears are listening.
The reason I blog about women in business is to create awareness for women about communicating with men in business.
Rather than expecting men to understand and accept women who get angry on the job, I advise women to understand how a man's mind works instead and how to control all emotions and communicate properly.
Never show your emotions. Like court, there should be no emotion in a workplace, as it will be used against you.
Men think that an angry woman is crazy, has pms, hasn't gotten laid in awhile and especially is overreacting.
Men don't like being around an angry woman because it makes them very uncomfortable.
His natural defense mechanisms start to rise and he naturally feels combative, but he knows he can't make you cry and he can't hit you , so he really doesn't know what to do about this, when you are 'in his face'.
Men in business will try to "OFF" the problem to other guys to handle it because men hate dealing with it, mostly because women go on and on and they detest badgering more than a bullet to the head.
They want to avoid it at all costs.
Angry women are ****es in a man's mind.
Keep absolutely calm and stick to only one grievance and discuss it in plain language in even monotone.
Never threaten to kick someone's ass, and especially don't raise your voice to be heard, don't swear like a truck driver and also don't burst out in tears. Don't run out of the room, throw things, nor slam things in the office, including doors.
Sometimes it is better altogether to sleep on it and do and say nothing.
Theres alot of crap out there dealing in the business world.
Whoever told women it would be easy and that they would be treated fairly and equally was lying. Men and women in business are different.
Keep your dignity at all costs.

Leesa Kaczmarzyk

What you write is exactly true. I'm 26 , female, sales, training for management so unraveling women's perception in business and corporate is key to me. I've been reading up on many things but one really stuck out for me. To paraphrase:

Women don't balance emotional distances in business as well as men. ie. the distance is too far and women are "ice queens" or to close and they're "mother hens".

I can't nail down where I am now. But, in my opinion, doesn't hurt to err on the side of ice queen !!!

Stacy in Sales

Leesa,

I hear what you write! I am all for women in the workplace . Controlling emotion may be the #1 job. But I think differently on a few things you said, just based on my own experiences.

Don't show emotion. Yes, you should! energy, excitement, gusto whatever shouldn't be bottled thats all emotion. What you may have meant was don't show negative emotion? ie sadness, anger, fragility...but you know what those rules apply for both sides. And are useful in certain situations too.

If you've been burnt in the past being around the behavior of women you describe or if your basing it off of commerical influences....it's your reality so that may be true....I especially like the cursing like a truck driver thats funny! But all that is maybe less than 1% of the women I see working everyday in my profession to the grocery cashier, CEOs like ebay's, to cleaning lady, etc.

Bottom line and it's always "KISS"...yes be yourself, be mindful of your emotions, find a model be a model......

Stacy in Sales

I'd like to offer a possible explanation to this. Often times what throws us off, what we find unacceptable, is what we do not expect. So what causes the expectation that women should not get angry?

As children, males are often taught not to cry or express emotions. Must be tough and never sad. So, most often--rightly or wrongly--men end up expressing themselves through anger. Because of its frequency it becomes expected. If we are expecting this, it does not seem strange, odd, or even out of control (even if it is).

Conversely, because women are taught to express themselves in an array of different emotions, they have less of an inclination to express other emotions through anger. This leads us to expect it less. Perhaps an interesting follow up study would be to test how people respond differently to men and women crying at work?

Moreover, we more readily expect men to show emotion through anger and so we more readily accept it. It is certainly an expectation that we should attempt to change, but I don't believe it is malicious nor intentionally sexist. Rather, an unintended consequence of how we raise our children based on past needs that are often outdated. I expect with time (perhaps a few more generations) that this will change. But it will take time.
-Ryan Romero

I think the research has some truth in it because a women is regarded at first as a non violent figure, she can show her teeth but she can't bite in a way, her main weapons are common sense integrity strong beliefe and inteligence, while the male always had to be tough and from ancient times his agressive state combined with inteligence was a wining combination, if a man is not tough he is regarded as a coward that is not able to step up for himself or doesn't have the brain to do this this is why I kind of agree with the study a women should be agressive but only as far as common sense and integrity permites it

Andrei