Sixteen Things Great Negotiators Never Do

Dear Donald,
One thing you have not mentioned and I do not know why is that if negotiations are not working well and you detect negativity to you or your proposal then you MUST step back and rethink how you are approaching the item you are negotiating for. I have encountered hostility and rejection and the method i use to break the ice is invite the person(s) to have a coffee or lunch in a nice location where I divulge some of the reasons for my interest in the item under negotiation - the other person(s) are usually surprised that I am prepared to show trust in them by divulging information that in most negotiations they would never be told. My methodology is that people perceive change as a threat and when they realise they are dealing with a fair and open minded person they let their barriers down and the negotiating continues on a level of understanding, respect more of friends negotiating rather than adversaries in the field of battle.
One thing I noted from all the Star Trek series is that Captain Jean Luc Picard went into negotiating with other races with the aim of achieving a good rapport and friendships with new cultures he usually achieved long lasting alliances and had an intergalactic reputation that resulted from this. The point of mentioning Star Trek is to say that Jean Luc Picard always dealt with establishing relationships of respect and friendship before he commenced negotiations he was a tough but fair negotiator. While Star Trek is Science FICTION the approach of establishing a good rapport first is very conducive to business negotiations. In fact I find that the party I am negotiating with may be willing to give you a better outcome to your negotiations than you would have otherwise received.

I recently ( three months ago ) relocated my Business Strategies, Computer Retail and Services company and legally stuffed up - I did not not my objections and requirements on the Heads of Agreement document and my Lawyer told me I was at the mercy of the landlord and his property manager. I made it my business to get to know both of them and divulged information of a personal nature establishing a good relationship of trust and respect with all parties - what was wrong with my new business premises I successfully negotiated and have had building upgrades performed 75 % of what I had requested has been done despite the fact that they had no legal obligation to do so.

Moishe Wolf
Australia

Hello Mr. Parker,

I found your article to the point. Your last paragraph tickled my sense of serendipity.