Women with Big Salaries Can Depress Their Husbands

RE: Women in Business
Jan 29, 2007 02:27 PM EST
With those winning paycheques, you are able to pay off old debt, and upgrade your lifestyle substantially. You can upgrade sometimes in mere months to high-ranking tax brackets.
Other strangle-holds on your life that have been keeping you entangled and burdened suddenly become easy to contend with, now that you have money to delegate.
You suddenly can breath easier and have a spring in your step like those new Viagara commercials.
But beware! Everyone will take notice, especially that green-eyed monster!
Your usual female friends will be happy for you at first, especially if invited on a shopping spree compliments of your latest big slot-machine payout.
But soon the gravy-train will be reserved for your own self-improvements, and if already beautiful, you can upgrade to Supermodel Status.
Because you are BOTH intelligent and beautiful, most people will try to get their small mindedness around this phenonemum, looking for rational explanations, mostly to dim your star.
The already frumpy jealous neighbours will form a pack of wolverines against you and bare their teeth, as you santer down your garden path of "tulipsabloom' choreographed by Holland's top Horticulturalist. Worse, if you plant each bulb yourself while cold-calling, wearing your 501 levi cut-offs that still fit you from when you were eighteen.
One neighbour hen-pecked her poor husband to death in an effort to compete with any advancement that eventually became effortless for me based on my learned formula of "working smart rather than hard."
These people can't do the math of "no cross, no crown " rewards and riches, and wil be sure to give you zero credit.
Move out of suburbia, and into a neighbourhood for a blend in the crowd ambiance, so that when you reach into your daily crackerjacks searching for your prize, you don't get
a whole new set of problems by common, negative people. These type of people are emotional vampires sure to suck your life force out of you by their pettyness, but especially to detain you on a level of non-productive and non-progressive entanglements. Living beside a ****- face neighbour every morning is no way to have a nescafe moment. Shield yourself from the evil eye.

Everywhere you turn will be different, after your life is upgraded financially, especially in your own relationship with a man.
Men typically want to be the dominant partner, provider, smarter and more successful than you.
It is a sad fate to realize that primitive instinct rules, and after a while things start to be a competition with your own man, even if you downplay your intelligence and success.
Most men feel emasculated in the process of your ambition, because you are also running with his pack of dogs.
He will begin to resent you because your success will reflect his deficiencies.
It is better for a woman in business to decide on a partner when you are all that you are capable of becoming, then find your match.
Big money and love don't mix for women in business, the same way as it does for men in business.
Success has it's price, but love will find you later.
In the interim, be extra cautious about ****ing the help, as 'no strings attached sex'
never is.

Leesa Kaczmarzyk

Dear Mr. Trump,
Thank-you for qualifying primitive male instinct!
But that is only the tip of the iceberg...

Cordially,
Women In Business
Leesa Kaczmarzyk

Nothing but factual. Money cannot buy LOVE, however, money is the key to a successful living soto say.

I think a man who has a problem with his wife making more money than he, has control issues. He doesn't want to feel like his wife can control him, because she's bringing home more bacon. Let's face it, money is power in many eyes. I think husbands who are in this situation need to get a grip and grow up. As long as there's a roof over your family's head, the bills are paid, there's food on the table, clothes on your backs, stop whining and look at what really is important. Stop comparing salaries. As long as you can take your wife out and treat her like the queen she is, I'm sure she doesn't mind the digits on her paycheck calculate out to more than yours. www.tippertantrum.blogspot.com

The way I see it, a man should be thankful to have a wife that has a job,regardless of salary. Women that are employed don't have to ask their husbands for money because they have their own. A man's ego clouds his judgment,instead of being thankful,he will whine about not having a good job because of lack of education,or whatever the reason may be.

It would be nice to (a) have a husband and (b) make so much money that it's an issue.

That being said, I agree that it might be a control issue for the man, but I also think it's not just that. It's evolutionary in that men are wired to take care of their family. It's not just ego and it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just something to work through.

A lot of the men who feel threatened by their higher paid counterparts or spouses are "mamma's boys." Their mothers were far too doting and did not prepare their sons for the real world. These men have this ideal of what a woman should be (somebody just like their smothering mother), and they want a partner who will pick up where their mothers left off. Wake up, men! The 50's are long gone.

I should know, until last year, I was living back in the stone ages. I was the consummate help-mate, if you will. I would put my man's interests before mine, in every move that I made. It was ridiculous! I just thought that a woman was supposed to help her man become a success and play the part of the strong woman behind the man. I was really that naive. Because I had not gone to college, I felt inferior, in a sense.

But, then I met Claudia Fox, after hearing her speak on the radio. She inspired me to feel good about my abilities, even though I had not gone to college. She's a motivational speaker and also worked as a leasing agent for Trump Tower, ironically.

I also began reading everything of Mr. Trump's that I could get my hands on, and that was when my relationship with my boyfriend began to suffer. I'm not kidding. I hadn't even begun to be the bread-winner, but I began to believe that I could do great things. My new-found confidence was enough of a threat to make my boyfriend insecure. He loved my support of him, but he couldn't give the same in return. Pardon me for learning!

So, Mr. Trump, I can thank you for effectively breaking up my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm serious! Were it not for you and Claudia, I probably would have continued on in the subservient dream-world that I was in.

I may not be a billionaire (yet), but I have the highest of hopes for my future. And, I no longer feel that I have to give up my life, and live FOR a man, but, WITH a man. I'm having a fantastic relationship with myself! I couldn't be happier! I finally feel very confident and secure being alone.

Now, for the first time in my life, I can look forward to a healthy relationship with a secure man because I will not settle for anything less. I'd rather be alone than waste time with anymore wimpy guys. I have a feeling that there might be someone out there who is as driven as I am, or, at least someone who will accept me for who I am - and not for whom he would like for me to become - for his own selfish pursuits.

I hear that there are a lot of men who love their wives no matter what...and, the fact that their wives might make more money shouldn't be threatening or emasculating, it should be an asset. Really! Get over it, guys! Grow up! Cut the cord from mommy, already!

That is funny, reminds me of when my husband asked me why I wouldn't let him win just one game of chess....

But then if I let him win, he really hasn't won at all.

This is a fun topic! I know men who cheated on their wife with the sad excuse that she doesn't understand him and someone who wears short skirts and cheap make-up does.
Yet, the cheating p---- wouldn't divorce his "nestegg" wife or marry the disillusioned want-to-
be after he peaked under her skirt a few times.
The green-eyed monster can grab hold of the best relationships. For some it might feel like
a control issue, but in fact is a means of protection and leverage. Both men and women use
money to benefit their individual point of view. It can get very nasty. Some couples thrive on
the fighting. Did you ever watch the movie, "The War of The Roses?" I did. The only difference
in my storybook ending is, I lived and he didn't. Now guess who gets to spend the money?
In my opinion, men will whine about anything. I notice they respond well when you "baby"
him. I love you, I love you not, damn it, I love you... CAN be exciting! It beats depression.

I am confused. Followed the link to the study and it had nothing to do with men being depressed. The article was about how men are not stepping up to the plate with the housework when the wife works, and when the wife earns more then men tend to revert to traditional roles even more- so the more the wife earns- the more likely she is to have to do massive amounts of housework and child care when she comes home. This could be due to trying to maintain power, about men being threatened by their wives' success, but about men being depressed? I don't get it.

My veiw would be that you are correct. I was able to start my career in real estate investing and when my ex husband relized I was going to make more money than him he got upset and when he saw it was 4 times his pay, well let's just say that's why he is my ex. That being said...who cares I am an investor with a very good outlook and him and his new wife still live paycheck to paycheck. I am living my dream buying and selling real estate, opening my own business and if this is work.....hehehe

**AND Mr. Trump I would love for you to see my business plan.

All I can say is my husband is waiting for me to make more money than he is. We will be married for 30 years in a few weeks. Right after Katrina hit I had to revamp my business to stay alive. My IsoBreathing program has come alive and my products are taking off. Mr. Trumph please open one of the many letters that I have been sending you so you can help me make this happen. In return you will obtain happier, healthier, less stressed employees and a portion of the proceeds will go to your favorite charity.

I hope that others that do read Women with Big Salaries Can Depress Their Husbands will tell their husbands to get over it and enjoy the lifestyle that your wives have provided for them.

Ellen Miller
The Originator of the IsoBreathing Program

I most definately plan on being a woman with a big salary and am hoping for a guy that is richer than money. If you you get it then you might be the one. When you have it, everyone will know it. They will say things like " your wife making more money doesn"t disturb you?

What a women wants most is someone she can trust with her life; whether good are bad times. Yes that's easy for Trump to say, because he has the most money; is what you are saying right now huh? Here's a little secret guys. God as always used a woman to get things started, but she needs you to finish so that she may fiinish whole and not old. That my obsevation of history.

In marriage, a wife as one to her husband. No matter a wife earns more than her husband, they are one. When a wife get more money, definitely, she must tell to her husband and manage together. It is not human if a wife only think for herself and a husband think for himself! This is a healthy marriage! Ask now to yourselves : "Do you love your wife/husband as you love yourself?" If yes, then open communication with your soul mate. If inside marriage, both parties keep thinking for oneself, I suggest to stand alone (in other words DIVORCE). Mr.Trump, I comment your words, encourage a couple to live in peacefully in their marriage, if you want to be marriage counsellor! Usually, if a wife has earn more than her husband, then a husband no motivation to earn more. A marriage is NOT a self-competition, don't you agree, Mr.Trump?

No Comment... Not because I don't know the market.... just because I think the people
involved don't understand the market. Men, like everying else is a commodity. Good, when
the market is up, but less than desirable when the market is down.

We'll talk.
Cheryle

You Must Be Kidding. Donald, after I went to Trump University with your selected experts,
why would I worry about my salary. If you don't see my value, then who does?
Cheryle

All I can say is my husband is waiting for me to make more money than he is. We will be married for 30 years in a few weeks. Right after Katrina hit I had to revamp my business to stay alive. My IsoBreathing program has come alive and my products are taking off.

Mr. Trumph please open one of the many letters that I have been sending you so you can help me make my dream come true. In return you will obtain happier, healthier, less stressed employees and a portion of the proceeds will go to your favorite charity.

I hope that others that do read Women with Big Salaries Can Depress Their Husbands will tell their husbands to get over it and enjoy the lifestyle that your wives have provided for them.

Ellen Miller
The Originator of the IsoBreathing Program

Hi Mr Trump My husband is one of the percentages that would not be depress if I earn more money that he does. I have not worked for many years due to taking care of our children. I would like to go out to work now as a Real Estate Agent which was my dream before I choose to stay home. I have no qualification in Real Estate, but if I could get the oportunity to invest some qualification in my, I will earn more money that my husband and Mr Trump put together.

Miriam Goodman Estate Agency

Guys, I read some of the blogs, which most, if not all are written by women. Heres the thing they are just acting like that because they are waiting on you to take the challenge. Think of us as you do your guy freinds when it comes to matters like this. It should get you going not gone. Have fun with her, give her her doand take notes on the downlow!

Hmmm... I wonder if this has anything to do with why Women are more prone to depression in general than men. I don't think it's actually the $$ amount that is depressing, but probably the ego of the major bread winner trying to take control of the relationship. Who WOULDN'T be depressed if the person they loved was constantly "out ranking" them emotionally?

The point is, if you're married to someone who's always telling you what to do with yourself just because they make more money than you, you're more likely to become depressed. Male or Female! I suggest marriage counseling for anyone who's partnered with someone who thinks making the most money gives them more "say so" in the relationship. Everyone has their own talents, and talents don't always bring in cold hard $$, but they can be just as valuable or perhaps more so...

It's not the money that's depressing. It's being controlled, or constantly being made to feel "lesser than" consciously, or unconsciously.

When I look back on my relationships I would have to say my ex husband was the worst offender. We both worked eight hours per day, but he took home more pay. In this fact he assumed then that after a days work he could simply flop on the couch while I cooked and cleaned and changed the diapers.

Doing the math, he may as well have hired a maid and by passed marriage. All tolled my work day concluded at least 12 hours per day of which only eight I was underpaid for.

Here is the Philippines, it is a common thing that wives get the larger salary, well, at least from low and middle class families. There is even a sector now that they offically tagged as "house-husbands". For me it is ok though, as long as wives make sure that we don't make feel our man less a person. But don't be so lenient as well to make them feel so pampered that they prefer not to work!

Good Morning,
It is nice to see people writing about money AND human emotions.
I know a few people who would rather sleep next to a warm, loving
person than a neat stack of greenbacks under their pillow.
I know successful women who balance money and enjoy the
company of their husband and children. Ski trips, a movie, a trip to
Disney World all cost money. If Mom works hard and smart to be able
to give her family fun trips and extras, I think a husband would feel
happy, not depressed. Where are the "balanced" role models?
We need you.
Cheryle

I'm an Asian and in our culture, the role of the husband in the family is usually higher than a woman and he is the main bread-winner for the family. So that, when the wife earn much money than the husband and the role of the husband is reduced, it usually be a big problem for him. But in my opinion, the salary of each is depend on the characteristic of the job of each. It can not to say that when your salary is not higher than your wife, you're worse than her. You have to prove that you are a strong man that she can totally belive in. You have to prove that you love her and the family, and every thing you do is for the family. You have to prove that you love your job and you're pround of what you're doing. If you can do those, you still be admired by her. If she still try to be the "controller" in the family nomatter what you've tried, maybe you've chosen a wrong person ^_^. The key points are : you love her and family, you're proud of your job and your real wife will regard of you !

Very interesting point. It may not happen with everyone, but it certainly happens A LOT. From personal experience, I was aloofly playing the Rich Dad Cashflow game with a guy I was seeing who had bought it. I started out drawing the truck driver job card and ended up reaching the Fast Track and winning the game...which interestingly enough drove him absolutely mad. Needless to say, we broke up soon afterwards ;)

I have always read Donald's books (my first favorite being The Art of the Deal), and now enjoy his new collection even more as it is more of a how-to series for the rest of us.

Best of luck everyone ^_^

Onwards and upwards!

The Donald is right….it is not worth to get depressed because your wife makes more money than you. I do however think that woman who make more money than their husband tend to downplay the guy’s capabilities and use it in their power play to dominate and control the relationship. It is the downside of feminism that breeds more inequality between the sexes.

This sounds like a replay from Sex In The City. Attractive women, with good jobs, plenty of
money to spend on clothes and travel but can't keep a man long enough to complete the
series. Is it possible men and women have lost the poetry of love? Maybe we need to dust
off those old books on the shelf and start using words that sound attractive to the ears.
"I love you for who you are, not the money you make. I love your smile, laugh and the fact
you're not a fake. Your attention is genuine, your concern unique, even if you act like a
chicken with a long broken beak! JUST JOKING!!! Try poetry like this now and then...
It always makes the other person laugh. Being funny is better than feeling depressed.
Do you agree?
Cheryle

Teacher Zarina from Malaysia.
I am born with asilver spoon in my mouth. I had servants and drivers and gardeners. I have had better income before, outshone my spouse in studies, in intelligence and internal drive. I thought he felt like a million dollars getting me, apparently he ran off with young girl in her teens. I am now single again, with no regrets, I met a more smarter chap, with high ambition and treats me as an equal. We are running a business together and he is also from a high class family. I am coming from a ladies point of view, I hated my ex for being lazy and always begging from my family to support his bad investments. We lost Rm150,000 on him! Hubby material means, the guy to look up to and guides his spouse towards success. Slackers should improve themselves or walk out of the marriage. Give your ambitious wife space to grow!

I would hope not. I do not understand nor do I ever plan to understand the male ego. I do not have to understand it!

Mr. Trump,

I loved your article and am going through the same situation. I sometimes feel that my husband isn't as career driven because he knows I'll take care of things financially. What gets frustrating is knowing that he is very capable of exceeding my yearly salary with his medical practice and not see him make any progress.

Men and women both come at marraige with certain preconceived ideas of what a man is supposed to do/be and what a woman is supposed to do/be. Much of this is influenced by culture. Some men not only have an issue with money, but that the wife works at all. I think many people in this country use their religion as the reason behind this thinking. When I encounter this, I ask if they believe in the Bible. Then I ask if they have ever read Proverbs 31 and the description of a Virtuous Woman.

Marraige isn't a competition. Its a partnership. Partners should bring out the best in the other, and support each other. They should also celebrate the other's victories and successes. That includes income. If you don't pull together, you'll pull apart.

It always seemed to me that the better your partner appears, the more successful, the better you look just for the association.

Males and also Females (who tend to reflect for some reason their protected world upon Males) really do not understand how differential treatment from day one is providing Females with such an advantage that is creating the Growing international Male Crisis.

Males are given love, honor, support, respect, care, etc. only on the condition of sufficient achievement, money, power, etc. This is what makes Males very competitive; they are competing for feelings of self-worth as reflected upon them by society if they have sufficiency of those things. When they are doing anything they are being weighed and given only the amount of love, honor, respect, and support commensurate with those achievements. Those Males who do not have sufficiency are not only given less of those good things, they are given more aggression by society. This creates a lot more pressure on Males to either succeed in academics, which is good; and if they cannot, then they will search out a more protected and supported area in which they will have some feeling of love, honor, and respect from their peer group.

Men are not only losing jobs, they are losing out on feelings of self-worth or love, honor, and respect from society. It is plainly spelled out in the media that when Males appear weak, it is okay to give them more verbal aggression, more abuse, and more neglect. Since Men have brainwashed to believe they are better (perhaps deserving of more harsh treatment and neglect) they are now finding out that in real life such treatment is somehow helping women to succeed above them. Given the horrible myth of fixed intelligences taught in our society or simply working harder, many men are falsely believing they are less intelligent and/or not working hard enough. Given this false information, they truly feel threatened by those women who are succeeding and they are not. Society itself and its media is now working against the Male to place Male's into perceived positions of being more suitable for menial labor and for Females to be placed into more white collar, management positions. The Male is now facing much more abuse on the job. Many low paid jobs are also riddled with much abuse, intimidation, and constant berating by managers over them. In more cases, women managers are the ones doing this. Yes, in society men who take jobs in lower more menial positions are given more abuse. It seems women working those jobs are somewhat more protected by society from this abuse. Many men are opting out of the workforce to protect their mental/emotional health, which they feel is more important to them than a paycheck.

Many men today are losing their feelings of self-worth that women receive simply for being women. His wife could not understand his dilemma. because like many other women, she was reflecting her love, honor, respect, and protection in society upon him, not realizing his world was very different and much more unforgiving for signs of weakness. You see society's primary antidote for perceived weaknesses in Males is to provide more aggression and neglect to make him strong, and not to support him when he is down. So, although his wife supports him with love, society will take him down for being weak. After years of brainwashing, he and others like him believe it to be true and deserving of punishment. This is why so many Males have a short life and so many more Male suicides. Yes, Males do feel threatened for they feel the scales are tilted very much against them.
Complete learning theory to all on request by e-mail at mayfieldga@bellsouth.net