Single parenting costs billions

I also wonder, why we should married in the first place ? a safe house can't be rob even there's no guard or lock to protect it, a true love is unbreakable even without bond

I'M BACK! Yes, I agree with Mr.Trump words that the best thing using money to save the marriage. Unfortunately, people getting impatient and non communicative at all. They just break everything surround them and leave the marriage. Now, they realized to live as single parent is the hardest life. No one support to their life. In fact, many question come to my mind, people more trickfull to their mates and no sincere heart anymore and how can they save their marriage?

Divorce is an absolute necessity when you are being abused daily. After my second surgery to repair the damage that animal did to my bladder I decided that I would leave no matter what the cost! When you have been in the hospital over 10 times in one year for events or circumstances that are a result of being married to a animal who has no respect for your body or your life it is not time to work on the marriage- it is time to save your own life! Many people in that town where we lived have been "snowed" by this man, and many people are simply wrong about what he is capable of- He has a lot to hide, and that is for sure!

Meanwhile the Judge that gave her consent to all of this has advanced from a "commissioner" to a actual Judge! It is amazing that when the government "screws" up that they advance the players that allowed illegal conduct, and seek to destroy the vital relationship of the parent and child.

Even more amazing is that nobody seems to understand that what was taken from me- my relationship with my daughter, was important to me. The role of being a mother for me, has been reduced to once a week phone calls, that sometimes do not come at all. I have to teach my daughter life lessons via the phone about things that matter. It has been a horrible uphill battle for over 8 years- and all that was taken can not be replaced but I would be willing to settle the damages for 100 million. With that kind of money I could at least do some good for other people who are faced with the challenge of using a very screwed up civil court system. I married again since all this started, and have concluded that marriage is hard no matter who you marry.

Your points about the financial and social cost of divorce are correct. Certainly, I would not want to judge whether or not people should remain married or not. It is a personal matter, but perhaps educating people about the reality of single parenthood would be useful in making a decision about divorce.

As far as possible solutions, healthcare careers offer many opportunities for women (and men) to earn a professional salary with good benefits. The nursing shortage will only grow along with other allied health careers. Many healthcare organizations offer flexible work schedules (and even childcare).

Sincerely,
Jessica Bond
Medical Careerist
http://jessicabond.blogspot.com

Prevention is a more cost-effective strategy than remediation. The first steps must be to ensure that young children have good role models of how a good husband or wife should behave. Children need to be raised with the concept that marriage is sacred- it is something to work upon when it is in trouble- not dissolved at the slightest hint of unhappiness. Marital infidelity needs to be seen as a destructive force and not a victimless crime. It is a little late to worry about trying to save marriages when two people are adults because the process of divorce starts with the values that a child learns. When our teens see single parenthood as a chore that they want to rush into ASAP, we need to look at the fundamental values of our society and how those values are being portrayed in the media.

No person should remain in an abusive relationship. If you are in an abusive relationship, the first thing that you need to do is to get safe. The second thing you need to realize is that once a relationship becomes abusive, there is very little chance that it will ever be a safe relationship. This is an opinion of that the U.S. Roman Catholic bishops have promoted on their web site. When a body that is dedicated to the sanctity of marriage, states that is these circumstances, the marriage is over- then it is over. Don't wait until you get hurt so badly you need surgery- get out at the first slap. That is a lesson that I wish I had learned before my 2 year old got to witness his father trying to strangle his mother. Those marriages cannot be saved.

We also need to work on salary equity. When we were kids, a man could support his family on one salary. People thought that if both couples worked, there would be more money for the family- but in reality , it changed the laws of supply and demand to the point where it is almost impossible to live on one salary anymore. Differences in the pay for men and women for the same job make things much worse when a woman finds herself single again. So the second step should be to change that inequity. Then women need to be empowered to prepare themselves for more economically advantageous employment through education and training. My mother really believed that a woman needed to choose between being a nurse, a secretary, and a teacher. We need to raise our daughters to believe that anything is possible- and to ask for as much or more than a man would earn for the same position.

As a society, we need to embrace the concept of a village raising a child. We need to see 112 billion dollars as an investment in the future of our country- not as an unnecessary expense. We need to see that amount as vastly inadequate to raise our children properly to prevent single parenthood and other social problems in the future. When we fail to fund children's programs, we create the social problems of the next generation. If you compare 112 billion dollars to what we spend on war or even the space race- you realize that we don't place enough value on our children. Even roads and bridges are more important.

I raised a child alone from the time he was 2 years old. I had a masters degree and a professional job- but even then it was tough in the beginning. I didn't have a car until he was 12- but luckily I have come to see my own worth and my salary has tripled since those days of walking him to daycare every day- first in a stoller, then in a wagon- and then by foot- many people along that route told me that they felt a part of my family because of that progression- but it was hard. Children need to see how hard it is- and they need to see that their best hope for a brighter tomorrow is in a good marriage to another person who is economicaly, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to be an equal partner. Money for those goals is well spent.

Dear Billionaire Trump,

From my point of view I don't think married parents can be called " Single Parents". From the first day of their devoice, the man is called widower and the woman is widow. Single mother is the woman either have baby without marriage or adopts the baby while she/he is still single.

Somehow, they just think that their babies will be able to help them to get out of their loneliness or their babies will be able to help them at their very old ages. It's exactly the real thought of the poor people. Everyone wants to have a very happy family by having husband, wife and children. But, some of them have no access to that choice.

About devoice, some people just think that their chances of having new partners are much easier, so they just treat their devoice as an unimportant matter. Some people after married they still think they are still available, without thinking that they are married, no more availability.

What I want to suggest Trump Blog members is to be faithful to their spouses by thinking that they are not available since the first day they got married. Don't try to make devoice as a habit. Some women's needs are rich, well educated and handsome. So, in order to fulfill their needs first they marry the rich men, after that they marry to the well educated men, and another step is getting married to the handsome men. It's good to have just one time marriage is marrying to not very rich men neither very high educated men nor very handsome men, just make sure those men are not very poor neither uneducated nor very ugly.

I just don't want them to follow my example because my thought is " Not married because of hating devoice ". This thought will take a very long time to find a real man, I still don't know whether I will be able to meet him or not. One of my male friends told me that " better have love and lost than never have " . My female friends told me " better get married and devoice rather than never get married ". Anyhow, I'm still in my position of " Not married because of hating devoice ". What I really mean is they have to take risk before their time is over. Just keep one word in their mind " I don't want to devoice! " .

One most important thing to avoid devoice is when they get upset with their spouse, just be apart for awhile such as taking vacations. They don't have to spend much money on their vacations or being very faraway from each other, just go to another state or another province. They should remind all the good things that their spouses have done, by do not comparing all those good deeds with all bad deeds. Just skip all your spouses bad deeds. Then they'll surely feel that their spouses also have many good things till can't be devoiced.

Please accept my highest respect.

I pray God bless you and prosper your businesses.


Sincerely yours,



Dany

Mr Trump,

I guess you have been through more than most of us would go thru in our lives.
Marriage is a simbiotic relationship between 2 parties. It is supported by many factors :
- Money
- Attitude
- Lifestyle
- Physical Attraction
- Emotional Attraction
- Location
and many more. The reason most marriges do not last is because of money. It is a problem when one party uses the money and then somehow loses it or spends it on something that the other party does not see as a good purchase, then both parties end up quaralling and eventually, if it gets worse, they end up breaking up.Therefore, i would definitely support the idea of having couple finance counselling that would reduce this problem. I guess Suze Orman and Oprah Winfrey have alredy started their own shows that help couples with this issue. However, I guess, there's still much much more to be done out there.

Prince Dudley,
Systems Engineer
http://birdseyesview.blogspot.com

Honestly, I am a little surprised by the cost that taxpayers have to pay!

In my opinion, families are the core building block of society. And that also translates into having a healthy marriage. While I am not against people who choose to divorce, its my desire to see people working out their marriages before choosing to opt for the 'breakup'. Unless in cases of physical abuse, or perhaps the life of the spouse is in danger, couples can consider separation as a timeframe to let both sides rethink if they should continue to stay married or not.

In any cases, you are right to say that this cost money ! Even to the affected couple. Depending on which country they are in, some countries actually have a law that requires the men to pay alimony to the ex-wife to sustain her livelihood. On first hand, it seems that the men is at the losing end in terms of financials. I guess it all depends on whether the women has earning power to sustain herself after the divorce. I am however, not too sure if this is same in the US ?

Yours sincerely,

Timothy
http://www.child-central.com
http://www.crane-machinery.com

http

Mr Trump,

What do you think of the 4 new waterfalls being installed in NY?
They're about 4 storeys high. Please Please let us know what you think.

Along with the money costs, there is a cost to the culture and social fabric to consider.

Although it is true that many people overcome family inefficiencies and become successful in a field of their choosing, it is more common for children to be "socially unprepared" and able to learn the art of give and take. When children see their parents working together to solve family problems, they are more apt to discuss problems rather than resort to hostile name calling or physical abuse. When parents work together to keep their home environment safe, healthy and happy they are educating their children in a positive way. I don't believe a family has to be rich to be happy. I do believe that the fabric of society is better preserved with acts of kindness than with mothballs and harmful chemicals. Drug addiction, and other harmful activities often results from unhappiness. Usually the first exposure to unhappiness sadly can be found in the home.

Before two people jump in bed with each other, they should discuss what they want out of a relationship together. If they agree to have children, then they should take the time to find out if children is the right choice for both of them. Money well spent would be to provide a simulated home environment, where both people can encounter the day to day activities, stresses and potential difficulties that can occur in marriage. This can be called "Adult Education."

Sexual desire is not going away any time soon. Being well prepared for the consequences of a sexual union is an education that would benefit the couple and society as a whole.

In the unfortunate case of rape or unwanted sex that results in pregnancy, the government should do everything it can to prevent this type of behavior. Enforcing laws that already exist is a good start. Allowing repeat offenders to "get out of prison" and move into neighborhoods with children is like handing over a razor blade to a person threatening suicide. Nobody knows for sure if the threat is real.

Anger is a human emotion. If people look for signs of uncontrolled anger before they commingle body fluids they would likely avoid a miserable marriage, unwanted children, and unnecessary wasted money in divorce courts. Get to know the personality of your potential marriage partner well. Then don't fool yourself into thinking it is your obligation to change it. There are professionals more experienced in behavior modification. Get a business card with recommendations from past clients and hand it to the person you thought you wanted to marry. Then walk away a free agent, and find someone more suitable for you and any potential children.

You don't have to get your "bladder busted from an animal" if you think about your safety BEFORE you get involved with "the wolf in sheep's clothing."

In most cases today, (at least in America) marriage is a choice. You can always sleep in seperate beds in the same room to see if you enjoy the sound of snoring.

Why should taxpayers be held responsible for the expenses of divorced parents with children who chose to marry a partner that needed professional help before entering into an agreement based on trust? If you want the kids, then find a way to pay for them yourselves. It takes two to tango, and both husband and wife, mother and father are responsible for their actions. Rich or poor there is no excuse for "deadbeat" parenting.

Today, you can choose not to have children of your own. You can choose to adopt a loving child (or more) who doesn't have any living parents to care for them. Whatever you decide to do (or not) don't expect someone else to pick up the tab. The way I see it, if it's your baby, you rock it!

You're exactly right, Mr. Trump.
Shame on these people!






http://gptworldproboards85.blogspot.com

Heyy, Mr Donald, You dealing with your relationship just like you deal with your business,I definately agree with your way! I still single and 26 Years old,And absolutely i will face the same problems as yours,But i think i will deal with it well in my way after your experiences...Thank you,Tess...

Yes, Mr. Trump you are correct when you say that single mothers and their children tend to live at or below poverty level after divorce. I don't think that two people should stay together when things are unworkable however I do believe that an initial all out effort to save a famly unit should be made by both parties. I don't believe that divorce in itself is the issue . I believe that all to often men hide their incomes from their soon to be ex-wives and children in order to maintain their lifestyles without regard for the children and burden society will bear as a result of their deceit. I have personally had to move twice in my children's high school years and go on social service to help support my twins as my income just didn't cover the expenses. My ex-husband did not pay child support for 1 1/2 years while the divorce was pending. It took the judge to finally sign a warrant for his arrest before he finally paid some support. The irony is that $20,000 of past due child support was reduced to $5,000. Please tell me where the other $15,000 comes from? My deadbeat ex drives a new Lexus SUV owns a business and works for his girlfriend so he went to court with $400 per week pay stubs while he really makes $4000 a week. Since his income was so low he also applied for and was approved for government medical coverage so he covered HIMSELF and (the children as ordered by the court) on a policy that is for low income individuals. I contacted the medical company who simply said " If he sent us a pay stub and the goverment pays us that's all we really care about. So let' not just speak of the low income "single mothers" let's address the deadbeat father's who use the system for free medical coverage etc when they hide their income from the courts and the whores who live on a man's money taking vacations and eating lobster dinners when they know that these men have children who are going hungry, cannot even go to a movie with their friends and work after school to help pay the rent . I have another friend who has an ex -husband who put three homes;NYC, Miami Beach and the Hamptons in his girlfriends name(each home has a live in maid and chef) and claims to make $1000 weekly leaving her with 250.00 per week in child support for three young sons. This millionaire's ex and children are now living on welfare. Divorce isn't going to diminish anytime soon. Discovery of the ex-spouse/ non custodial deadbeat parent is where we need to invest money to prevent single/divorced mother's & children from poverty which in turn creates a deficit for all of us. Yes, my -ex is hiding his money and living nicely while he forces you to help me support children who he created and should be held accountable for! Any lawyers out there?

Single parenting does cost billions - In Canada, and I'm sure around the world. There are many reasons why a single parent can have a hard time financially, but these two are probably the most obvious.

DEADBEAT DADS (AND MOMS). In the 12 years that I have been a single parent, I have yet to receive one penny from my ex. The courts won't enforce it - and if they try - my ex quits his job. Yet the government doesn't pay my child support. I'm not saying they should, but when I hear about others who actually get their child support payments, I can't help but feel a little envy. Not that his paltry $108 a month would have made me rich - but it would have helped some months.

EDUCATION. Many women are able to support themselves, because they have some sort of profession. Others are not so blessed. When a single parent shows initiative, and wants to go back to school, there's only so many things that welfare will allow them to take. Computer and secretarial courses are about you can take, which still leaves them at minimum wage, scrambling to make the rent payment. University or college is out of the question, because the Canadian welfare system will not support a single parent and student loans may not cover all of your expenses.

A lot of single parents are not proud of being on social assistance, but when it's a choice between feeling proud and feeding your kids - guess which one wins out?

As a single parent since 1996, I have only had to resort to social assistance for about 18 months. Those 18 months I spent finishing high school, and dealing with an abusive ex in court. Since 1998, I have been the sole supporter of my 3 children - without government help. Partly, because I was raised to be self sufficient, but mostly because I wanted to create a better life for my children.

The traditional family unit is no longer the building block of our society. I believe one survey estimated that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Promoting staying married may help over the long run, but we need to solve these problems today. Not ten years from now. Our children are depending on us to find the answers, not assign blame. $106 billion would go a long way towards educating the single parents so they CAN support themselves and their children. And, think of the example they would set for their children.

If we have to pay out that kind of money - why not spend it teaching a man to fish, instead of buying the fish and giving it to him?

I'm a single mother of four children and they are the centre of my world, but I'll tell you sometime I wish I could count on the other person responsible for bring them into this world. Yes the money he is suppose to pay me would be great ($307.34) a month yes that is for all four children. He is a licenced Iron worker, and he quit his job to go and work for the carnival and His boss help's him hide his income. His rich boss has also hired lawyers to take me to court to have the child support done away with. My ex doesn't like paying to look after his children he doesn't care what happens to them it's a good thing they have me as a mother. I make sure they have a roof over their heads and food in their tummies. It would have been nice to have him help me though instead Of him trying to kill our children. He's not allowed to see them unless he goes to the kim campball house it's a safe house for this purpose. But that the lemons I got. Does it get better?
I'm living in a house that has mold & mildew, No stove, No hot water, Broken pipes in the bathrooms that flood my sons bedroom which cause the mold and mildew problem and My landlord doesn't give a dame or does arbitration. I don't know where to get help? I have saved a very small down payment To one day buy our own dream house but it's not enough yet and I fear I won't make it. Do you have any Ideas i'm fresh out. I think i'm loseing hope and I know this is where you Mr Trump call me a loser for getting myself here? Please don't. I need answers. I'm one of though single parents costing billions but i'm trying not to...

Great comments everyone, but I've yet to read the admission that divorce as well as other situations that have ripped at the fabric of our society have a root cause of our own personal conditions of the heart. If two are involved in marriage then it certainly takes two to keep it together. If only one is willing to do what it takes, that one can't be expected to carry the burden alone. As a nation, we see the results of degraded heart conditions and the only way we can truly begin to mend is to seek repair of ourselves by admitting our need for mending. What we nuture in our hearts, good or bad, becomes what drives us. It is who we are. Just start with the Golden Rule and "pay it forward". Start in your own home, community, city, state, nation, etc. Just start with you and don't worry about the rest and change will come.

I'm a 47 year old single parent to a 4 year old whose "biological donor" decided to walk and keep walking. I am employed full time and have been with the same employer for 16 years, with full health benefits. I'd like to see the proof that I'm part of the burden....

I'M A 40 YEAR OLD SINGLE MOTHER RAISED MY NOW 22 YR OLD SON AND 20 YR.OLD DAUGHTER FOR 12 YEARS ON MY OWN .STAYED IN A PHISICALLY AND MENTALY ABUSIVE MARRIAGE FOR 13 YEARS BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD NOT DO IT ON MY OWN.I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR ANY HELP FROM ANY GOVERNMENT AGENCY .THERE WERE TIMES WHEN WE HAD DINNER BY CANDLE LIGHT BECAUSE ELECTRICITY WAS CUT OFF BY THE TIME I GOT HOME FROM 1 OF MY 3 JOBS . I NOW HAVE A BETTER JOB OF CORSE STILL STRUGGLING BUT MAKING IT ON MY OWN LIKE ALWAYS .I STILL CAN'T SEE HOW MY FAMILY IS A BURDEN TO TAX PAYERS LIKE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree w/ Mr. Trump,
Recently this year my mother died, two months later I left my abusive husband, if I didn't do what he wanted he would tell me he wanted me to "get out" I have three teen age boys from a previous relationship . I sold my wedding ring, filed my taxes separately, got some money back, and borrowed $3,000. to move. My husband is well known in town, (he is nice to everyone except for me). I got fired from my job and no one else would hire me. I finally found someone that would hire me, but I lost a lot of clients, (I am a hairdresser). I had to go get food stamps and I got health care for the boyz. Currently I am two months behind on my rent, and a little more on the rest of my bills. The judges in this county won't see our case because they know him and I just had to get another attorney from a different city.
I am not going to give up. I am going to keep hitting the pavement, I will keep working and clients will come back or I will get new ones. I try to take good care of myself, when I am in public I make sure I look nice, my small two bedroom duplex is clean, as nice as I can make it and I have food for the boyz. I read some of Mr. Trumps books. When I don't know what to do, I read my favorite parts and I look forward. I will succeed, this is a good opportunity and challenge for me. Thank you, M