Marketing Maestro

This is a copy of an email I just received for a donation I made to a non profit (since I do like this organization I am protecting their identity):

Dear Josef Katz,

This is a confirmation of an online transaction placed with XXXX Needs Inc.   
The transaction totaled $XXX.XX and will be processed to your account.

Order Number  : 1354-9
Approval Code : 266879

How many problems do you see with this note?

• Why so formal?
• No feeling or personality (aren't not for profits known for making you feel for their cause?)
• What should I do with those numbers?  Not sure what they are for.
• No Thank you
• No signature
• Tell me why the donation is needed
• Explain how it will help - something to make me feel like I did the right thing...
• Remind me how I can give more

I sent an email back with some ideas to improve the communication.  Lets see if I hear back or if they take my advice. 

Don't take any communication for granted regardless of channel.  It doesn't matter who you are; your messages should be thought out and deliver the best marketing bang possible.  Treat every message as if it the last thing your customer is going to read.  You never know it just might be.

Send me some examples of great 'operational' emails and why you think they do a great job.  Who knows there might be a prize in it for one lucky reader.